This is why I blog.. this is why, this is why, this is why i blog!

So its crappy Monday yet again(i guess its not really crappy, id just rather be home sleeping than here, therefore making today crappy) and i don't really have anything intelligent to write about, but for me this blog is cathartic. Confession: I have kept a journal since highschool. Yeah crazy, cause im not a great writer. I just happen to be one of those people whose thoughts and feelings get all jumbled together and i have much better clarity when I put it out on paper(or on computer). Its funny to go back through and read my journals. I wrote them to "Journal" who in my head was a person, who would read what i wrote, and care about my feelings. I generally didn't write to myself, it was often a third person. I literally started out with" Journal," and ended with "love, Kimi." Sometimes there would be a p.s. or an update from a previous entry. If I hadn't written in a while, I would "apologize" and then update with whats been going on since then. lol silly i know. Some were upbeat and funny and some were sad and depressing. i really had a hard time with boys and my physical appearance and wondering how come nobody wanted to date me. Its pretty sad to go back through and see how much boys impacted my self worth, and how ugly I honestly felt. I read them through now and have been tempted MANY times to throw them away but part of me wants to save them for my kids (cause they probably would get a kick out of them) and then the other part of me saves them for me cause they are my memories. I wrote about my massive crush in highschool, about my crazy roommate dramas in college, about meeting boys, about meeting and getting to know alfie, about feeling happy with life and sad and angry. I even wrote a letter to my future husband, lists of what i would like to accomplish in life, a timeline (i should be taking my children to Disney world this year according to that! lol) and even doodled clothing designs (I totally had a sweater dress drawn in there from prob freshman year college and now they are in style!) You name it its in there. I enjoy the candidness of blogging/journaling and it definitely helps me from being uber emotional because I take it out in the entry instead of the person/people. So that is why I blog... because I have before just in a different form, because it helps and because its fun. It has nothing to do with who reads its (although i do love knowing people care enough about my life to peek into it) and has everything to do with MUAH! :)