More than just a Poo-Venure

Confession: I occasionally bath with my baby.

Is that weird? My sister seems to think so. Oh well if it is. Anyways, we call it "Bath time with Mommy" and since he was a weee little lad, we would occasionally do this. I will never forget the first time, he had to have been under 3 months old (since we were still at 290) and I filled the tub nice and high with warm water and held him so he could float on his back and move his legs... HE LOVED IT! He was all smiles and a happy baby! Well, I believe our Bath time with Mommy has now come to an end. *sigh* He has noticed my lady lumps, the gals up top, my voluptuous mountains, my tatas. I always knew that with him being a baby I could get away with BTWM but once he realized he was a boy and I a girl, things would need to change. And while we are not THERE yet, we are close. So anyways, the other night I thought, hey it’s been a while since BTWM, so I grabbed Mr. Colty and headed upstairs. I grabbed my towel and a pair of clean jammies for him and headed into the bathroom. We stopped and did our traditional look-in-the-mirror-and-make-faces/smile and then proceeded to get ready for the bath. I turned on the water and pulled the plug to let the tub fill up, pushed in his toys from the edge of the tub, then proceeded to get C undressed. Usually we sit on the edge of the tub and I wait for the water to heat up and I undo his diaper then pick him up by his armpits as the diaper falls to the ground and then I set him into the tub. Such was the same, although midair I noticed a funny smell, and as I stood him up in the tub I thought to check the diaper that had fallen to the floor....dang it...POOP! and as I looked back into the tub, Colty had poop ALL over his booty. In panic mode, I tried to keep him standing so I could empty out all his toys so they wouldn’t get poo-water in them and I grabbed the shower head and hosed him off, praying the chunks would go down the drain without help *if you know what I mean*. Luckily they did and as I sprayed his little tushy and the surrounding tub, I noticed his washcloth had dropped into the water and GAG ME he had it in his mouth! I grabbed it and tossed it into the sink, to put into his laundry after the bath. Once the tub had been drained and the little Poo-monster rinsed clear of any clingers, we proceeded to enjoy our BTWM. Now one woulda thought that was my sign.... That the heavens were telling me not to get in the tub, but nope nope momma pressed on. And in I went. We played with his toys, lining them up on the edge of the tub and pushing them into the water, spraying him with the shower head and showing him how to catch that water in him mouth. It was mid bath time that I caught him looking at me, and I don't mean my eyes (try somethingsss below my eyes, but above my belly button, if ya know what I mean). Like he was LOOKING. Then with one little baby finger he reached out and poke poke poke. I chose to ignore it, and distract him with his toys, but again with the LOOKING. Another brave reach over and poke. Followed by a quick full hand grab, where if he could talk, I’m sure he'd have said "HONK HONK" ...Bath time over. Lesson learned. One could argue he takes after his daddy, but that would be WAY TMI, so we will just leave it alone. Lol
I guess I should have know this would be coming, especially since he has found his "little boy parts" and are fascinated it them. Well, I guess fascinated wouldn’t be the right word, more like a bit of shock and awe. Usually he is playing with a bath toy and looks down, and "hey what’s this" poke.poke. then moves on. (Sometimes there is an extra poke in there, but I usually redirect him if there is, ya know the whole "if you shake it more than twice you’re playin' with it" would apply in this case, but if you poke it more than twice... well, you get the idea. Oh well, the end of BTWM, the end of an era, means the beginning of having a big boy and no longer a baby (I heard sad music and saw a photo montage of the past year in my head as I wrote that, I’m not dramatic, what?).

Alrighty, well Happy Friday!

Mmm its called a fantasy...

... League. Yeah i know all you perves, thought i was gonna write about some fantasy... try again.

Confession: I am doing Fantasy Football this year.

First time ever. I can't take the credit for the idea, since I actually snagged it from someone else I know (shout out to Valissa for planting the idea seed). I enjoy football, and I thought what better way to become invested in players and the game, than to actually have a reason to watch more than the Eagles games. Unfortunately I joined my league last minute (2 days before the draft) so I didn't have time to do any much research on players, which I would have done and which would have been fun. So i kind of had to just wing it. Because this was all kind of spur of the moment the draft process was a bit crazy, but never the less managed to be fun (even if putting Colton to bed made me miss 1 or 2 rounds). Now i would like to say that I did all my picking based on good player knowledge, but remember, I didn't do any research, which means I picked as a girl. Which pretty much is code for picking who is cute *gasp* and whose names I recognize *cringe* and who play for the Eagles. I know, I know, its shameful and probably the reason why guys may prefer ladies to steer clear of their beloved game, BUT if a bit of eye candy makes it so your lady doesn't complain about having football on tv all day Sunday and Monday, and she ACTUALLY starts paying attention id say it is more than worth it! And hey, even if you have to point out one or two other guys she may enjoy oogling for 3hrs, just to solidify the ability to watch a game or two, id say DO IT!

Anyways, my M.I.L put together a league consisting of a bunch people and the usual Foot-Ballers (HA totally just gave our football group a name...would have been a cute league name.... yeah i know who says cute in reference to a fantasy league) who get together regularaly to watch the Eagles/Bills/Vikings games. Now i can't take FULL credit, on my fabulous week 2 win (week one was a bye) because Alfie did show me the ropes and how to check if players are injured, and how to move people onto/off of my fantasy bench etc. BUT my top scorer QB was ALL my pick (Tom Brady is dreamy) and I most certainly got a lot of flak for my pick on a understudy back up QB- Tony Romo (again, quite the looker). And with some additional help from Josh on a few other picks, I ended up with a thumbs up from Alfie on my team. Had i planned it better, you can BET i would have had a pow wow with my brother-in-law Ben, an AVID fantasy league player, to help me put together an even BETTER roster. Ahhh next year....

Sidenote: We had quite a humorous 10 minute diversion from the game on Sunday night as the guys helped us girls pick out good looking Quarterbacks to drool over. My front runner was Matt Leinart....sweet sassy what a dreamboat! I don't recall who Meg or Robin decided on (Robin was an avid Favre lover) but it certainly was a fun intermission.

Now don't go thinking I am some lame-o who is ONLY watching for the hottie man bodies. I actually do enjoy the games and actually have been learning terminology, rules AND players, which makes me (and im sure Alfie) quite proud.

So how about you? Any other ladies out there rockin a fantasy team for the love of the game, their hubbys or any other crazy reason??

Just another day at the Office...

So it’s one thing to chose the person to see every day, but it’s another thing to pretty much get stuck with someone every day. Such is the difference between being married and going to work. Being married, I CHOSE to life my life out for better or worse with Alfie going to work I don't really get a say who I spend my 40+ hours with, which means it can lead to some fun times (if your coworkers are rad) or some dreadful times (if your peeps are sucky). For me I have a bit of both id say about 80/20 for the fun/sucky ratio, there may or may not be a fly in the fun ointment at work. Same person that I yikes, got in trouble.

BUT regardless of if I enjoy or don't enjoy my direct coworkers, I share a building with other people that I DO NOT work with but still share an area with. Which can be cause for crappiness....So this little story happened a bit ago. Alfie and I had ordered pizza one night and with the delicious leftovers I wrapped them up and took them to work the following day. Now normally I toss my lunch into a Wegmans bag to put in the fridge at work, but on that day I just had the 2 slices in a Ziploc. I got to work and placed my pieces (they were fresh looking pepperoni and mushroom slices...my favorite) on the middle rack with a small thing of carrots I had also brought in a Ziploc beside it. Noon came and went as did 1pm (which is when the cafeteria closes) and I finally wandered over to grab my lunch. I opened the door and didn’t readily see my slices. Hmmm no biggie, it probably got shuffled around as people took their lunches out. So I hunkered down to search for it. I found my carrots tossed to the side but no pizza. after 5 mins of frantically looking, I came to the conclusion that some jerk ate my lunch. COME ON! I was soooo looking forward to it. Then to make matters worse on the top shelf were these 2 ratty looking freezer burned slices that I can only imagine the Pizza thief left me, which of course I did not eat, cause that would be just nasty. But it made me think... who does that? Just because it’s in the communal fridge does not make it open to all. Oh and this is just the beginning. There are the people who like to bring NASTY smelling food for lunch and turn the entire building into a stink bomb in the form of "lets re-heat last night’s fish dinner today at work" and you pretty much pray that you don't leave work reeking of fish. I’m sorry but last time I checked, I didn't okay you to rape my nostrils with your awful smelling food. Thanks a lot.

What kind of people are in your office? Do any of these folks sound familiar....?

Mr. Social - We ALL know him. He is the guy who knows everyone, busts everyone’s balls, has ALL the good gossip and can't keep a secret to save their life. They spend a good chunk of their morning hopping from cubicle to cubicle, finding out what the good word is and what’s new. They are ALWAYS up for a good time via happy hour or lunch out and even better, they are usually the one with the creepy "I think I am hot stuff" Facebook profile.

Ms. Sour Puss- Yeah she is the Debbie Downer of the group. The one who nothing is ever quite good enough. "What there are free cookies and cake two cubes down??" "Oh well I am diabetic, I can't eat that" WAAA. WAA She is the one who usually takes a fun afternoon and turns it into a rainy blah day. And you try very hard to avoid so she doesn't poo all over your pleasant day.

Mr. You can't frazzle Me - he is the guy that nothing EVER gets too. "What there is a HUGE deadline tomorrow 9am??" "Yeah yeah ill get to it, no worries, i'll come in at 8 and pound that out." He is usually the one to cut corners and just get by. I’m guessing he was the stoner in high school and college. Ever the laid back guy.

Mr. Corporate Intern - They are the youngsters you kind of wanna punch in the face, cause they come in and throw around lame corporate phrases like synergy and diversification and have no idea what they are talking about but walk around with the biggest chip on their shoulder like they are the shizz. They wanna climb the corporate ladder and get to the top floor with the corner office, and is way way obnoxious.

Miss Corporate Intern - Not the friendliest of office folk. She is usually dressed like a skankasaurous and reallllly doesn’t do much around the office other than look cute and get hit on by dirty old men (but primarily by Mr. Social). Also known as Ms Giggles, since she pretty much laughs at anything as she flirtatiously touches the jokesters arm.

Mr. Jesus Freak - Usually some sort of religious base that is VERY vocal about judging people and telling them how their life is wrong and how they are going to hell. Pretty much gives any sort of a Christian a bad name and people generally avoid for fear of long winded awkward conversation about salvation. (So sad, that how the office Christian is usually seen)

Mrs. I love my 10 Cats - She is the weird lady. ya know the one who brings the same meal to lunch every day and put pictures up in her cubicle of her kittens and bunnies. She talks about Mr. Whiskers like he is her son and her evening usually revolves around Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. Smells heavily of some musky perfume, rocks killer orthopedic sneakers or the ever awful popular Crocs. Usually a slow stroller that you DON'T want to be caught behind if you are rushing to get to the ladies room.

Ms. Menopausal - Gotta love her. You can easily find her by the tell tale fan at her cubicle desk pointed right at her while she wears sleeveless and fans herself (while everyone else is in sweaters). She is often the Man Hater, burned once in her past by some ex-husband and is great at shootin the breeze and bustin balls with Mr. Social. Has a great raspy smokers laugh and enjoys a good strong scotch the end of the day.

LOL And for those who wonder, yes, most of those are based on real people, and No I do not fall into ANY of those categories :P ...Do you??

Reflections....

So today i was feeling reflective. And sometimes when I do that i pick a random date and read the posts from those days. Today i picked my first trimester ones. And no matter how many times i read them, they still take me back and make me cry. Now i will put a disclaimer on this. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my Colton, and i would go through the exact situation again, if it meant having him here. But boy did i struggle! i STRUGGLED my first weeks of pregnancy because of my morning sickness (i abbreviate it to MS in the posts). This was one of the toughest things i went through, and I tossed back and forth over "publishing" my journals from that time to my blog. I ultimately did, obviously, for a few reasons... I wanted to be true and honest, i wanted to remember what exactly it was like and if at all possible i wanted to help someone else who may be in the same position. I also did not change or revise what i wrote from that time. I posted it as i wrote it with the exception of taking out the F-bombs and other swear words (mommas not perfect).

With that, lets take it back, back to February of 2010.....

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3