I have a few people I would like to speak to so here we go....
Dear People-who-sit-in-the-left-lane,
MOVE OVER. There are 2 other lanes that you can sit in and go 55, preferably the one farthest to the right. You are not the police, so there for don't think you are "doing me a favor" by forcing me to stick to the 55 speed limit. How about you do yourself a favor and move on over.
Dear Bicycle riders,
*sigh* Stay off the road. FOR REAL. Unless you are legit and semi pro, stay off the main roads with your tight spandexy tops and thigh hugging spandexy shorts. Oh and to the lady out for her afternoon bike ride with her dang little basket on the front handles swerving all into the road, one day someone is going to hit you and it will be all your fault...just saying.
Dear New Boyz Band,
I don't appreciate your song saying "I look better with the lights off", even if you do precede that statement by making sure "I don't take it the wrong way", it still bugs me. Because I for sure, don't want someone to tell me that I look better when they can't see me, or when I am in low lighting, or when I am out of focus, or when they have one eye shut and squinting with the other.
Dear Old people and Stay-at-home-ers or It’s-my-vacation-day people,
Stay out of my work commute! The roads between the hours of 7:30 - 9 and 4 -6 are mine!! You can have the rest of the day on the roads. I already have to deal with those dang busses and slow moving truckers. Your "I’m not rushing to get to work" speed is noticeable and your I’m not used to the traffic frequent braking is doing a number on my gas tank and pissing everybody else who is driving off! So enjoy an extra cup of coffee and give us a few hours before leaving the house.
Dear Old people at work,
I get I am YEARS younger than you but referring to me as "young lady" comes off sounding age-ist. If you want I can refer to you as gramps, or Old Man River, or Sir to keep things even. And while you’re at it, quit talking about retirement. I get it, you have one foot out the door, but keep in mind that the other foot is pretty close to the grave...so there. Plus, I am tired of listening to how FARRR away from retirement I am. Yeah, I know I’m gonna be working for the next 30 years!
Dear Kimi,
Freakin’ finish planning Colton's birthday, would ya!? Its only 2 weeks away. Time. Is. Ticking. Oh yeah and get them pictures printed and up, the fireplace painted and the floral room straightened up too while you’re at it! Don't forget to hang the mirror and the calendar, and go ahead and paint the fireplace room too when you get a second!
Dear Ladies,
Sometimes looking good means suffering a bit. To look nice is not always comfortable. So deal with it.
To the old man who flicked me off the other day,
I was in MY lane pulling up to the stop light. YOU were cutting into my lane. I so did not deserve that knobby arthritic attempt at a flick off. You were in the wrong, not me. PLUS you car wasnt anything special...just sayin'
And finally…
To Sonos, of the Sing-off,
You deserved to go home after that horrendous Jackson 5 slaughtering of "I want you back". Nobody messes with that song and gets to make it to the next level... so Adios!! You deserved to go home.
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