MMM MMM Giiiirl You too old!

A friend of mine let’s call her Shaniqua (LOL - ya like that? person-whose-name-isn't-really-Shaniqua?) shared this story with me...

Shaniqua was at a WORK party (Luau themed) and a co-worker, let’s call her Croc-y (you'll understand why, later) showed up at the party. Shaniqua said Croc-y was dressed in the luau theme but missing 1 MAJOR necessary article of clothing. Any guesses?? No? It was: a bra. That’s right A. BRA. Really NO BRA?!?!?!?!?! to a work event?!?!?! Risky! or should I say risqué...lol. Who does that?! In addition to the coral bra-less deep v sundress outfit thingy, Croc-y was ALSO rockin' (Haha Crocodile rock...) coral crocs!! CORAL CROCS! I didn't even know they made those, which probably means they shouldn't have made them. But Shaniqua confirmed that yes they do, and yes homegirl did! Tisk tisk (I am anti crocs anyways, but that’s me). Apparently Croc-y is known around the office for wearing her Crocs in every color! Who does that?! I guess now she can be known for something else....Ms. I-didn't-wear-a-bra-to-a-work-event. I get if you have tick tacs/mosquito bites that going without a lady lump-holder is probably fine and unnoticeable but anything bigger than that MOST DEFINITELY needs a support system. And anyone over the age of puberty shoulllllld sport some kind of tata holder. But I’m sure some people of the breastfully unblessed camp would say that’s untrue and i guess they would probably know more about that than this Mountain-liscious momma.

But anyways, this little story made me think...What is age appropriate? Is letting the gals hang free age appropriate? Can grammie go free just as much as some 15 year old? Or maybe in this instance its size related! How long can one shop in the "juniors" department? Can any age wear the "current trends" both in hair and clothing? Just like Simon from American Idol ALWAYS complained when young contestants sang old people songs, so do I complain when old people wear young people clothes and vice versa. So to help you determine if "mmm mmm Giiiirl You too OLD", here are myy top 5 rules….

You know you too old when:
- The trend you wore once makes its way back again. Ex those of us who rocked side ponytails in the 80's, scrunchies, fanny packs (sweet Lord, I actually saw Target trying to sell "cute" versions. It’s a lie, there is NO cute way to wear a freakin fanny pack!!) STAY AWAY from them now!
- You try an outfit on and make sure it doesn’t give you camel toe. The fact alone that you A. know what camel toe is and B. you check for it, means you are too old to wear that outfit (cause it probably will give you C.T.)
- If you have no idea who Snookie is and where she is from, you have no biznass wearing her beloved poof.
- You think crocs are an acceptable form of shoe, it’s not. Its sooo not. (Unless you are in the medical field or a small child...lol...again my opinion, I hate them)
- And finally, if you read these and ACTUALLY thought to abide by them, you are too old, because young people could care less what anyone says :)

Happy Tuesday!

Cookies, coffee, and crafting OH MY!

So last night I attended a fun night of coffee and crafting at Bethany’s house. HOLY INSPIRED. No joke. Not only was i inspired to do more crafting (specifically sewing) BUT i was inspired to put up more pictures in my house. HUH? Let me explain. For those who don't know, Bethany is an AMAZING photographer. She helped with my wedding pictures and did my maternity photo shoot (I was GINORMOUS and feeling ugly, and she made the pictures come out far from that!). So I knew her house would have lots of pictures but I didn't realize what an impact that had. Not only is her home gorgeous (very Pottery barn-esque) but the priorities in her life are on clear display! And I.LOVE.IT. It totally that lets you know how important, loved and valued her husband and two boys are to her. I walked into her house thinking "She LOVES her family" and I left thinking "i want visitors to my home to feel the same way", so thanks Bethany for the great inspiration. Now on to printing, framing and hanging pictures of my priorities :)

Anyways, it was such a great night of meeting new people, chatting with current friends, and watching ladies of all ages work on fun crafts! Now my "craft" wasn't so much A craft as it was working MY craft...lol I curled Christy’s hair. Haha. Since I LOVE doing hair this is ALWAYS fun for me and since I don't usually have the time and right atmosphere this was perfect! But I did get my hair curled by Christy AND the chance to try out some Pinterest styles on one of B's good friends. THENNNN to add the caramel syrup to the sundae (not a stupid cherry cause i HATE cherries..gag me. LOVE caramel though) SOhl (I like calling her by her blog name, it’s so clever it makes me chuckle, so in my mind sometimes I refer to her as Sohl...betcha didn't know that 'eh Sarah) brought me my phone case...aka My Phone home...lol or Phone dress or Phone sleeper...No, my PHONE SNUGGIE!! that’s sooo what I’m calling it. Anyway, the snuggie is AWESOME! It made tossing it in my purse and finding my phone SO MUCH easier and a lot less riskier if I drop it. I am lame-o and didn't bring my camera, BUT Bethany had hers so pop over and check it out.

Side note: We were told to come in comfy clothes (you don't have to ask mama twice!) and I did, so pardon the "Jammer" shorts and my sport-tastic E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES shirt. Comfortable was the name of the game, so no judgment, k?

And Sarah made some awesomely easy magnets that I am definitely going to try. Keep checking her blog for the tutorial.

It was funny sitting around the table, looking around and feeling very much like I was back in the "little house on the prairie" days and the ever popular "quilting circles" (although technically my minority status back in the day MAYY have had me watching through the back window instead of sitting at the table). Overall it was a very fun night and I look forward to more coffee and crafting nights in the future!!

"AHHHH FREAK OUT!"

SIDE NOTE: Well it’s that time again. Time to rename the blog. It started as "Confessions of a Newlywed", stayed that way until I got pregnant, then it was "Confessions of a New Momma", but as the year is coming to a close and Colton’s first birthday party is upon us, I’m thinking it may be time for a new name. I thought, since Snatty is now engaged to Blue Eyes (yes that is for realz my nicknames for them) and that Christy and I are jumping in and helping to planning the wedding, it might be fitting to call it "Confessions of a Wedding Planner"…. Alfie suggested "Life with 2 Alfie’s" (go figure) and I thought of "Confessions of a Working Momma"(since I am the lone full time worker in my circle of momma friends). Not sure which way I will go, but suggestions are always welcome!

Anyways, on to today’s tidbit....

Confession: Nelly sometimes freaks me out.

Nelly is my super crazy catdog (she is a cat but with dog like tendencies). And in my defense I have a wayyy over active imagination. So combine a spazzy cat with an imagination that has seen farrrr too many movies and read farrrr to many fictional books and you get someone who is freaked out (mildly) with their own cat. Example: Last night I was headed into the guest bath aka "Colton’s bathroom" to clean up after his bath and as I exited, I caught in my peripheral an object just standing in the doorway to Colton’s room. I look over and it’s Nelly. Watching me. Just standing. Like she had been watching me go about my business. She didn't hiss, or even move, and maybe that’s why it made it creepy, but we locked eyes and for a fleeting second I envisioned her lunging through the air hissing and attacking me in the jugular and clawing my face up. Highly unlikely, but with Nelly, one can never be 100% sure. Anyways, with a "what a freakin' creeper" comment, I headed back downstairs. Nelly is like that. If she was a person, she would be that weirdo creeper that kinda skeeves you out, cause she pops up randomly, stares, lingers, then moves on. And yes I know that’s a cat for you, quiet, stealthy but randomly everywhere. Our hallway meeting is not the first, but rather one of many lurking moments and made me flash back to my irrational fear or wolves and deer attacks.

Sigh. I know, I’m weird. And I am not sure why, but growing up I always had a fear that I would walk out of my bedroom and come face to face with a wolf. Teeth bared and ready for attack. And then I made the mistake of watching "Lady in the Water" and it pretttttty much solidified the possibility of any fear I had about wolves popping up randomly and attacking me. (It mayy or may not be a fact that I booked it into the house after seeing that movie in the theater...avoiding the grass of course and not looking behind me so as to not be paralyzed by making eye contact with their red eyes leering at your in the grass... or whatever theory the movie claimed…BUUUT I won't confirm or deny that fact, you will just have to wonder….) AND at our old woods surrounded house "290" as we call it, I always feared a deer attack. (yeah I know out of all the animals, that most likely lived there, I worried about freakin deer) Mostly stemming from the fact that they were everywhere and had the greatest probability of being rabid and wanting to attack me. But still, I usually did a quick glance around for deer shadows and then booked it into the house. One would think I should have been more worried about a creeper IN the house since we left the house unlocked (situation has since been rectified, and all doors locked at Shanlee) I tell you, I don't know where these crazy fears come from but they do make me nervous. Maybe it’s more a fear of the dark than a fear of certain animals? Who knows? But I DO know I have a very photographic memory so making the mistake and watching, hmm lets sayyyy, "The Haunting" television show, was probably NOT a smart thing to do, since now those exorcist-like images are now forever burned into my mind’s eye and make being home alone kindaaaa freaky. Or watching Jeepers Creepers and having to trek from Marion to Webster on late dark nights on old back roads when Alfie and I were dating, secreting expecting the Jeepers Creepers guy to appear standing in the middle of the road and attack me for my eyes. See what i mean!! CRAZYYYYY!! Where do these thoughts come from! I tell ya! It’s that freakin' dang over active imagination! Gets me every time! But I was like this since little, and when I would have nightmares. Mom would always come in, pray for me and quote part of I John 4:4 “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.” And to this day, I still quote that anytime I get freaked out !

Anyone else have random "why does this make me nervous" moments?

Come on! Lets go on a Poo-venture!

Sometimes as a parent you run into situations where you stop and think “how is this happening?” Yesterday was one. It came in the form of a poo adventure. Aka a Poo-venture!LOL clever, right?! It had been a while since Colton did a nasty poo-up-the-back-scramble-to-get-him-into-a-shower-to-clean-up kind of poo and yesterday was the day he decided to spring one on us. Now Alfie and I have two different theories when it comes to changing poopy diapers. I am of the "Let’s change him ASAP" and Alfie is more the "ehhh we need to make sure he is done, let’s give him a few minutes" Now both methods have their pros and cons, but i will find that Alfie’s is a bit more dangerous as it allows for over the diaper spillage. But anyways, back to the story. So Colton was fed and happily playing on the carpet scooting around, standing and then sitting and every which way. We noticed he had a poopy diaper and i told Alfie he better get on that (odd, but he almost never puts up a fight about changing Colton's diaper...neither of us do). Well doesn't he lay him down on the carpet...mistake #1. I gave him "the look", the one that says "we have a mat for this, so he DOESNT poo stain the carpet", grabbed the changing mat and set it out. As Alfie transferred Colty from the floor to the mat he noticed there may have been poo spillage. So instead of changing the diaper (to minimize the spillage up the back) he went checking his shirt for poop, since he had just held him. I franticly kindly reminded him he better hurry up or its gonna spill up C's back. And guess.who.was.right. ME!! Yep doesn’t he go to do a back check and it was ALLLLLL up his back. I notified Alfie I would go run the bath since it was definitely worthy of one, and from upstairs i hear "AWWWW MANNNN!! BUDDYYY!!! COME ON!!! REALLLY?! NOOOOO!" lol Oh Boy! Mama to the rescue. As i descended the stairs, trying to hide my chuckle, and wondering what in the world happened, i got a very unexpected response..."He put his elbow in the poop" LOL not quite sure how THAT happens but such is life with two Alfie’s :). With a big sigh (and praying he doesn’t pee the entire time) I grabbed under Colty’s arms and whisked him up the stairs and into the bathroom (sans diaper-risky, i know, and still wearing a poopy onesie) and attempted to rinse a poo-ed onesie enough to get it over his head without chunks in his hair. It was Nasty. I touched poop. It was all over and smelled. It was yuck. It’s a good thing he is the cutest baby alive (right up there with Madelyn) with a super happy temperament :) He makes cleaning up poop, not that awful! The things we do for our children 'eh?

Update: Crib Sleeping

Update: Crib sleeping is going AMAZING!

And with that i probably just shot myself in the foot. But anyways to update, since i just KNOW you have been on the edge of your seat anxiously wondering how Mr. Colton is doing in his crib. I am happy to report that he is doing splendid! With the exception of one night where I woke up to find him laying beside me (hmmm thanks Alf) things have gone far better than Maddicus-expected :)

Whats our trick? Wearing the poor sucker out. Instead of going down at 7 or even 7:30. We keep him up until about 8/8:30 at the MOST and usually try to give him a "snacker" (thats Alfie speak for 4oz bottle). Pair that with a lil christian radio ("more music KLOVE...kkkkkllllllooooovvvvveeee" lol ), his lovie blankey, paci and baby be strugggggling to keep his eyes open. Most often by the time i walk out of the room all crying has stopped and he is on his way to dream land. And everytime I expect a freak out and this to be the night that our ease of cribbing will be broken. Maybe this will FINALLY be an area of ease for Colty. Lord knows our adventures in feeding have not been the case.

Enter the "Chronicles of Milk".

Seeing as this momma is a lactite and daddy be rockin the acquired lactited-ness, it is no surprise that Mr. C would also struggle with milk based formula. We realized this when he would spit up A LOT after every bottle when he was a baby and finally at 3 months the doctor said we needed to switch. So we said farewell to the $19.99 GIANT container of BJ's brand formula and hello to the pricier Wegmans Gentlease. Bring on the gas. He seemed to struggle with gas and be extra fussy on this, so adios Gentlease and Hola to Soy. Soy brought on severe constipation and was our last attempt before the Financial Raping that is Similac Alimentum which is what he is on now. Down fall is that for the ittty bitty container is a whopping $25 a week. Luckily, it worked great. As C got older and started eating more food and less strictly formula, we wondered if mayyyybe it was time to try Milk based formula again. And at his 9 month appointment broached the topic with the pediatrician and they said lets give it a try. Glory A Dios! And so far so good! No tummy aches, not spitting up. He seems to be doing really well on! Our wallet is breathing a sigh of relief. Because you KNOW we were hoarding that other stuff like crack gold. But such are the new adventures in parenting we all enjoy.

Spilling...

Confession: I spill.

Like a lot. Like all the time. So much so that growing up i was "encouraged" to always sit at the table and not the floor in the family room or even on the couch. And to this day, if i come in and sit on the couch with a plate of food, i often get "the look" and "please don't spill" comment.

I am not sure what comes over me, but it just happens. I will go to put the food in my mouth from the plate and wham, on my shirt or oops on the carpet or chair or sofa or rug. It never fails.

When we moved into our new place, i was determined NOT to be the first person to spill something. But as my track record would have it that was not the case. I filled a nice TALL glass of orange juice, grabbed my dinner plate (yes i drink OJ with any meal, i especially love it with cookies. Alfie thinks i am pretty crazy, cause apparently it is only supposed to be a morning drink. But whatever...) i set my dinner plate on the coffee table and set my full glass of orange juice beside it. The next part is fuzzy. I don't know if i went to grab it and wasnt looking, if my plate hit it or what but WHAM BAM thank you ma'am! My glass of orange juice ended up on the carpet. Hot dang! The spiller strikes again.

In my defense sometimes I have "help" in my spilling accidents. Lets just say that SOMEONE in my house likes to put his their drinks on the floor beside the couch. He Said person did not mention that the glass of nice staining Coca Cola was on the floor, so when i walked over i pretty much ended up kicking the full glass of pop. Isn't.that.precious. And one would think I would have learned my lesson and kept MY glass on the end table where it belonged (last time i checked thats what they are for, right?!) but no, no i did not. I thought if Alfie someone else could do that then so can i. Mistake. After having set my glass on the ground, right beside the makeshift baby gate which we have to do a precise high step to get over it, i went into the kitchen to grab a snackie. I came shuffling around the couch with my snack and high stepped over the "baby gate" and GOALLLLLLLL, nice corner kick on my drink. The US team woulda been proud. Thankfully it was just club soda with lime, nothing stainable like the other times. But still. Now the other "i put my drink on the floor" person kindly calls out "DRINK" and points to his their drink on the floor anytime i get close to it, like i am blind or something. Whatever.

I think i have narrowed it down to food excitement (Maddicus listen up). I get so excited (or hungry) that in the swiftness of getting the food from the plate to my mouth things just go crazy. I get distracted, i may be talking and miss my mouth, I have twitched before and the food jumps off my utensil, i overestimate the amount a utensil can handle and pack it on only to find that boo-ya the food lands elsewhere. I underestimate how far the food must travel to get to my mouth. Those minor things seem to cause minor (so far) "things" on my carpet or clothes.

Just last night i again, put my drink on the floor, and moved away from it, then went to turn and hand the pacifier to alfie and stepped right beside my drink, knocking it over. Alfie gave me that look. Ya know, the one that says "really? again? REALLY?" I think it might have something to do with the fact that i use clear glasses, and if i put water in it it is essentially invisible, right?!

Oh well, maybe i will have to invent some sort of drink flag to help me end my beverage spilling ways. And as for my food spilling, well I guess i'll just have to borrow Coltys bib!

Get yo Sleep on....

Confession: We are attempting to get Colton to crib sleep.

and I don't like it. Ok, I quasi like it. Because as I look at his adorable slumbering face, I just want to scoop him up, kiss those super soft cheeks and snuggle with him. And that's not possible when he is in his baby jail crib. And while one part feels that way, the other part KNOWS he NEEDS to sleep in his bed, especially for safety reasons, pretty much because our bed is a bit high for him to fall out of and not get hurt. Especially since he has a habit of crawling to the edge and not realizing he will fall. Anyways, we hit night two last night, but let me not get ahead of myself....

Night 1: My sister and brother in law have been working with Maddie for a few days, trying to get her to crib sleep, (yeah, it’s a family thing to co-sleep...) and apparently she cries for a loooong time as told by her daddy, since her momma has always been a quick and deep sleeper and doesn't hear the cries (like home girl can sleep ANYWHERE... ask her about her first date with Ben... wouldn't it be funny if she fell asleep on it?? even funnier if it was at a movie theater!! true story.) Anyways, so Maddie's poor daddy has to listen to his baby girl wail and probably scream "DADDY COME SAVE ME" (cause yeah, Madds can talk....like real words talk...kitty cat, dog, Titi, Lita, and duck....she is a serious wonderkid) so I KNEW it was going to be rough listening to Colton cry. We got him prepped for bed, turned on the TV to the Christian radio (he has been listening to this since the womb) and said good night and lowered him into the crib. The second he feels the mattress, lil thing starts crying, and crying and crying! For me it felt like 45 minutes, to Alfie only 20. And luckily Susan was over helping me with my hair, so I was not even able to go grab C. We let him keep crying and after a while Alfie went back up to pop in the pacifier and lay on the floor to offer comfort. Sleep FINALLY won out. AND he only woke up a few times when his paci fell out, but went right back to sleep. Bummer ( ok, not really) though at 2am he started crying again, so momma got her bed snuggles in with Colty until morning.

Night 2: Now, Alfie put Colton to bed the first night, and since I am the usual putter- to-bedder I was pretty much expecting crazy clinging and hysterics and pretty much awfulness. I let Colton stay up and play later than usual since he was being a good Kitty (yeah, we have read "the good little kittens" one too many times) and by the time 8:30 rolled around, quickly followed by some baby eye rubs, I knew it was time. Mentally prepping myself for the worst, I grabbed his lovey blanket (best thing ALIVE) and his pacifier and prepped the room and kissed him goodnight. Into the crib he went. Cue crying. Cried as I walked downstairs, as I walked into the kitchen, as I poured a drink and then as I sat down on the couch there was...silence. HUH. Silence. NO WAY. Silence. It doesn’t really happen like this! Too good to be true! 5 minutes of crying. So of course my mommy imagination went "OMG something happened" which then forced me to go check on him. Silently I crawled up the stairs and poked my head into the room and heard him "double" breathing, you know the kind you do after a hard cry. Yeah he was doing that. So all good. He was alive. Home boy made one or two peeps the rest of the night. THE REST OF THE NIGHT! No joke. He even slept through me putting pants on him (poor lil legs were too cold with the a/c on) and only woke up at 6:30am when I put him in the car seat to take him to moms.

So Night 1: FAIL; Night 2: WIN; Wonder what Night 3 will bring us.... Hopefully another good Kitty who falls asleep with ease and doesn't freak the eff out!