True Story: The Boob Pillow...

**Based on ACTUAL events. Names have been changed to keep people anonymous**

So a few years ago a group of my friends go together for a Christmas gathering. We had previously decided to exchanged White Elephant gifts. Awesome. Everyone did a great job bringing silly items. But the most hilarious gift was an anatomically correct bright pink pillow in the shape of Tata's. Yeah that's right! I think we guessed them to be a D or a DD. The best part was they were originally opened by Bark and Mecky who sooo DID NOT want them but got stuck with them in the end via the luck of the White Elephant process! lol And thus began the game of dropping them off at each other's home. Bark and Mecky stealthily kept the pillow hidden until they could sneak it into someone else's home and leave it to be discovered at another date by another couple. Such as a Murder Mystery party at Meve and Stegan's (they sound Swedish, ya!). Well Meve and Stegan found the Billow (haha boob pillow, that was Alfie's phrase, not mine) that had been hidden in their bedroom and then proceeded to share the billow wealth and dropped it off at Rosh and Jobin's (haha Jewish??orrr Jamaican, mon' ??) and Rosh and Jobin made sure to bring it to our house, where it sat on the floor in our room waiting to be taken to Cave and Dassie's (haha Southern friends ??? lol). And this is where it gets interesting....

Alfie and I lived next door to his sister and brother in law for a few years at 290. It was great getting to see our niece and nephews, especially in the summer when they would be out playing when we would get home from work. On this particular day Cristen and the kids stopped over (i think i was home due to morning *all the time* sickness).

Side note: Alfie and I leave stuff around. no surprise here. Especially in our room. Neither of us are masters at picking up. But we also don't have anything dir-tay that NEEDS to be tucked away, however we are good about keeping things that should be private, private. Moving on...

So of course we didn't care that the kids would go into any room as they would search for our cat Nelly. We were used to this, and often Nelly would hide under our bed. No biggie. It was not shocking that as Cristen and i stood chatting in the family room, the kids had made their way into our bedroom. Although this time they came out with THE PILLOW. OH.DEAR.LORD. I.HAVE.CORRUPTED.THE.KIDS!! THEY HAVE THE PILLOW! (which had been on the floor by the dresser waiting to be taken to Cave and Dassie's).

"What is this?" was pretty much the first thing out of their mouth. I could not believe this was happening...NO NO NO! Luckily Cristen jumped in with a "Hmm what do you think it is?" (brilliant! test out what they know and see how much damage control we need to run...perfect!! What a mom!!). Micah jumps in with a "I think they look like eyes" and proceeded to hold them up like eyes. (Okay, i can see that... one down, one to go before we are in the clear). And then Jonah pipes in with "I think they look like these" and to my horror held them to where the large D-Cup mamba jambas would naturally be. DANG IT! Right on the money! Smart lil guy! Luckily their wise mama jumped in with a "Maybe Aunt Kimi uses them to practice for the baby?".....so clever, so clever. She then proceed to usher the boys out of the house and encourage them to play outside. THANK YOU JESUS! BUTTTT not before snapping a picture and sending it to Alfie with the caption "Uncle Alfie, what are these??" haha At which point he called saying "uhhh are you at home?!?!?" haha fearful that the kids had been at our house without me. You can bet that I made sure Cristen knew the back story of how we got the pillow as a white elephant gift and that it was not some freaky sex toy her children were holding. There really would have been no coming back from something like that I'm sure.

Ohhh the Good times at 290!!

Baby Proofing

Confession: I dread going to non-baby proofed homes.

Who's with me?!?! Nothing makes me more anti-social than having to closely monitor behind my newly mobile 14 month old making sure that he doesn't tear the host's home up. And yes we are good about telling Colton "no" or "don't touch, just look" but really what fun is it for child to hear "no" every step they take and what fun is it for parents to have to say "no" to every move their kids make. Wasn't the point of the invitation to socialize? How does that happen, when everything in the house screams "touch me" and to be respectful of those locations, I or Alfie have to watch Colton very closely.

Perfect example. Friday we went to a Christmas party at a home with no young children. There were lovely decorations throughout the family room/ kitchen and of course a large sparkling tree with ornaments complete with a very fun looking train underneath. I am sure Colton looked at it thinking "Heck yeah! Lets do this!!" and all i thought was "Oh Sweet Lord...a freakin' train. Kill me now!" Knowing that all night i would have to redirect Colton from the tree towards one of his lame toys only to then be distracted toward another poorly placed home decor item. I mean really, whats more fun: a giant tree with dangly things you can pull off and throw AND that has a train underneath OR a truck that he has played with loads of times?!?! Ummm I'm going with tree! The karma in me wants to give Colty a gentle nudge and say "Go to my man, they asked for it", high five him and take a seat on the couch while watching him trash the place... but I'm sure that would come back to bite me, so yeah. Needless to say, I didn't get to socialize very much that night... oh well.

Now of course I don't expect people to fully baby proof for my child BUT should you know someone with a small kid coming over it might serve you well (and aid in a much more delightful visit) to have an area that is ok for playing, where things are okay to touch or where there is nothing breakable or dangerous (like outlets covered) AND bonus if you have a few toys that they can play with (I always pack something for Colty but "new" toys make the trip extra special). I'm sure singles or couples with no kids wonder why families with children always want to host or why its a pain for us to "come over". Its for this reason: The kid is in their surroundings at home. They already know what is a "no touch" area, they have baby gates up, and mom and dad can actually enjoy their company because the need to monitor the little monster is gone! Its far easier to host than be invited places. (And extra easier if the gathering is NOT in the evening...hello its baby bedtime by 8).

Now i am not saying come over and trash my house just because we are baby proofed (i love the mommas who clean up after their kiddos before they leave), but Alfie and I definitely have it arranged that the family room area is a play zone, so children PLAY ON! (but only in there. All other areas of the house are off limits...lol) We have no decorative bowls or items that can be knocked down or broken. No baskets that can be pulled out and emptied. No DVDs that can be pulled out and stepped on. just toys, blankets and pillows. Now i am sure our home does not look as decorated as id like, BUT its Colton's home too and I'd like him to be just as comfortable in that space to do what he pleases as I am. And if that means i have to hold off on decorating for the next few months, then so be it.

So this holiday season, with the oodles of parties and family gatherings, think of us parents with little ones. Take pity on us and throw up a baby gate. Pop in some outlet covers. block off a room, have a basket of toys... ANYTHING. It will make the visit that much more enjoyable for everyone. Unless of course your goal is a quick visit, then of course don't change a thing, and we will be out of your home in under an hour!

RAMEN POST! RAMEN POST!

Soo at CCC Night (thats Coffee, Crafts and Conversation Night. Yeah thats right be jealous. Its a fantastic group of ladies and we totally get our craft on!) I was talking with Sohl aka Sarah and Alyssa aka Alyssa about our mutual enjoyment of Ramen noodles.

Sidenote: is it RAH-men or RAY-men??

Anyways, i shared how i doctor them bad boys up so they are much more fabulous than the usual noodles with the drab seasoning packet. So by popular request :) here they be, my FAVORITE ways to "upcycle" an otherwise boring bowl of ramen noodles.

FYI: i use the chicken flavor, cause it's the best. Just sayin...

Egg Drop Ramen
*I only make this on the stovetop, cause its egg and getting food poisoning is not my thing*
Add water to pot, boil, add noodles, add flavor packet (nothing different here)
Then, righhhhht before you would take the noodles out,
Put an egg on your head, crack it, let the yolk run down, let the yolk run down, let the yolk run down.... haha kidding.
Crack an egg in and stir stir stir quickly....BAM egg drop soup...Ramen style!

Sesame Garlic Ramen
In the asian aisle, grab something like this:


(So you can justify the purchase you can also use it for stir fry or for seasoning your faux PF Chang lettuce wraps...remind me to share that recipe....delish!)
While your water is boiling put a hearty dollop (prob about a tablespoon- overflowing) in a bowl, Add the flavor packet, add a few shakes of soy sauce to the same bowl (but not too much or else you will be dying of thirst later and your fingers will be little swollen sausages from all the salt...lol)
Then, if you like it spicy add a pinch of this chili garlic sauce (found in the same spot as the Sesame Garlic Sauce)




(And i mean pinch, this stuff is like sucking on Satans teat, its that hot, so use sparingly)
Add a bit of water from the pot and stir, to blend it. Then add in your noodles and remaining water.

Cheesy Ramen
*this is Alfie's recipe (It was one of the few things that stayed down when i was pregnant and pukin' galore. Annnd with that visual...)
Before opening the bag, "crush" all the noodles (not to a powder...geez, but into small little pieces) ... (Huh, believe me when Alfie did this i was like WHAT THE!! YOU'RE BREAKING THEM!!??, but its better cause then you can eat it with a spoon and get the yummy cheese broth, and who doesn't love cheese broth??)

Prep as normal (with seasoning packet) and add it to your bowl. THEN right before you would settle in to eat, BAM, add 1 kraft single (breaking into pieces as you add it) and stir until blended so there are no cheesey chunks. Thats it. It will blow your Ramen loving mind! I remember alfie making it for me, and being all "whatever" until i ate it and HOT DANG so much better! Oh and should you want it spicy, add a pinch of the above mentioned Satan Sauce.

And thats it!! Any other I'm-out-of-college-but-still-lovin'-Ramen folks out there?? Or any other suggested ways?? pass them along. Cause momma loves herself some ramen....

Hello, Hello...

I totally stole this idea from Ms. Ashleys blog. Hop over and say "What's up?!"

Outside my window...
is a parking lot, but its thankfully snow free so that makes me VERY happy. Yeah i'm one of those anti-snow people, especially if i have to drive in it.

I am thinking...
about my new job.... starts Jan 3rd, doing project managing! I'm pretty sure God has some stretching planned for me!

I am thankful for...
God's provision and timing. He is oh so good to me... all the time...and all the time....He is good!

I am learning...
to be. To be myself, to be confident when i don't feel it, to be patient, and to be okay that neither myself or the house isn't perfect everyday!

I am creating...

lots of christmas presents!!! And my ledges courtesy of Ana-White.com!

I am going...
to Joanns or Hobby Lobby after work for some paint and modpodge. Ohh the craftings I will craft!

I am hearing...
Toby Mac on Pandora, and the sound of my keyboard as i type.

Around my house...
things are INSANE!! So very thankful people don't just pop over all willy nilly. hot glue gun, modpodge, shelves, fabric scraps, photos, scissors all make the kitchen and dining room look like a FANTASTIC christmas explosion...lol

One of my favorite things...
Coltons laugh (and the sight of his little bitty "big boy" teeth). I had him going pretty good last night after dinner and i almost cried, because the sound was so special, and he looked adorable. I swear if we could bottle childrens laugher and give it away, the world might just be a better place!!

A few plans for my week...
Christmas party, crafting, Christmas concert, family time!

A picture...
A sneak peek of my lil punka-dunk from the fabulous Rachel...

The case for numero dos...

**Disclaimer: We are NOT pregnant and we are NOT trying to be. We be havin' conversations! Got it?
ok, with that out of the way (and with the rumors now flying...geez), let's move on...

I find it funny that people always want to be in on your "next step" in life. You're single and its "when are you going to date". So you date and then it is "so when are you getting engaged?" then "When are you getting married?" then " When are you going to have a baby" and then "When are you going to have baby number 2?" And thats where Alfie and I fall. Into the "When are you going to pop out number 2?" Which when asked, part of me wants to respond with "Mind your own dang business" buuuut since I too have asked the dreaded question to others (a LOT less since having been asked it myself) I usually offer up the "We aren't sure". Although if you ask Alfie, he will give you a specific month (but then again he didn't puke for 21wks so he is far more onboard). Which in my mind begs the question, "When to try for a second?" I can hear you all out there "OMG kimi and Alfie are talking about a second" FALSE...let me remind you, I.AM.A.PLANNER. which means I like to have some sort of timeline for major events and although its doubtful that it will occur as planned, i find comfort in the ability to attempt to plan it. I We, know I want Colty to have a sibling (alfie would be ok, with not having another. But I love having siblings and I wouldnt want Colty to miss out on that sort of relationship). So for all of you parents with 2+ kiddos weigh in please! *No worries Wilson, im not about to take a job and then get knocked up, been there, done that, moving on* Sooo lets hear the pros and cons. For all you wham bam under 18 months apart aka "crazy people" would you do it again?? Or how about those with 3+years between the kiddos? Do you like the spread? Is just the addition of child number 2 crazy enough that timing means nothing? Those with one child, is that the route to go? Only have one and stock up on fun things like boats, convertables, and lake houses?!?! What about those of you who both work? How do you do it?!?! There is something to be said about baby #1 being old enough to say "Mom i'm borrowing the car, be back later" before having baby #2 (jokes jokes, thats farrrr too farrrr apart, i'll settle for him saying "hippopotamus" lol) Annnnd there is the case for bang bang and done, and knowing that i can have my body back FOREVER. So come on...chime in. Give me your best "if i had to do it again" insight. Let me have it!! :)

Favorite Things...

Rain drops on Roses, and whiskers on kittens...
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens...
Brown paper packages tied up with string...
These are a few of my favorite things...

WHEN THE DOG BITES, WHEN THE BEE STINGS....

(i always feel like that part MUST be sung)

whooa...sorry got carried away in my S.O.M memory lane (thats Sound of Music for all you musical rookies). I love the Sound of Music... that maria...boy does she make me laugh :P (haha i know all you fans got that joke)

In the spirit of Maria with a little bit of Oprah splashed in (if i was a good blogger i would put the link to the SNL Oprah "Favorite Things" parady, buuuut im not, so i didn't.....but you can go youtube it. cause its hilarious) these are a few (10, ok, more than a few) of my FAHHHAVORIITEE THHHHIIINNNGGSSS.....

- wearing a nice dark pair of sunglasses...the kind with pratcically black lenses, for the sole reason that I can stare at ppl and they never know it!

- getting dressed up to go somewhere (even if its just church on Sundays)...I live for LOVE it!

- Snuggling with Colton. part of the reason he still sleeps with us, is because i can't bear to miss out on his adorable little snuggles all night. its the most precious thing alive. I practically kiss his little cheeks each time i roll over.

- a good hair day. I instantly feel amazing when i know my hair came together exactly as i hoped. Oh and extra points if the stars have aligned and my outfit rocks and my makeup came out flawless.... ahhh perfection!

- laughing with Alfie.... the things that come out of homeboys mouth...gets me all the time! And oooh when he really gets going! I end up just laughing at him laughing. (the other day he laughed so hard he cried, and i watched in SHOCK, as i have never seen alfie cry...it was like a sighting of a rare creature...)

- that moment in the holiday season where you instantly remember that same feelings from past childhood holidays....nostalgic fuzzies...

-the crispness of fall weather. Love me some sweaters,scarves, jackets and boots!

-pizza, wings and beer.... HELLO FOOTBALL SEASON! **id just like to take this minute to brag that i am currently tied for first place in my fantasy football league! Woo Hoo!

-finding a good blog. i love stumbling onto a new blog! its like finding a nugget of gold! Extra love if they are a frequent blogger and have oodles and oodles of posts to browse!

-quiet. there is something special when the house is quiet. When Colton is sleeping and Alfie is out and its just me. I can listen to music, paint my nails, dance around the house, clean, in blissfull quiet.

How about you?? in the spirit of the holiday season, what are 10 of your favorite things???

Keepin' it Real

Confession: I SOOO do not have it all together.

I was blog stalking reading Ashley's blog the other day(go visit and give the girl a holla *yeah that’s right I be ghetto* and ooo check out her lovely Etsy boutique too...feel free to buy me something pretty while you're at it), anyways, girlie was keeping it real with her struggles and frustrations and it dawned on me how often we think of friends, acquaintances, Facebook friends and bloggers we stalk as having it all or having it perfect and I know I often forget that we are all HUMAN, no one’s lives are perfect and nobody has it all together (Hello just look at the Kardashians, especially poor Kim, girl be trippin' ---yikes again with the ghettoness)

So I thought today I would "Keep it real" and share some of my not so "finer" moments... ya know, so you don't go thinking I’m Ms. Perfect or anything....

- I am messy... pretty, pretty messy, not dirty, just messy. Like sure "everything has a place" but it doesn't always get there at first kind of messy. But on the flip side it will drive. me. crazy. until I clean
- Making BIG decisions freak. me. out. Like the "makes me cry" kind of freak out. I had mild melt downs for every purchase more expensive than my mattress. I’m that big of a wimp.
- Self righteous Christians make me wanna act un-Christ-Like towards them (maybe I’ll just start singing "Jesus take the wheel" anytime I feel the urge to slap them act out....)
- I go on cleaning binges. I could not clean for a while then BAM I will clean the house from top to bottom... usually it’s after an argument (like my girl Emily) or before a big party and usually that will hold me for a while
- I argue with Alfie. He is not perfect, I am not perfect, so bring on the occasional arguments. The important part is that we make up and forgive eachother.
- I am a stresser/worrier. I stress for myself, for Alfie, for Colton, for the random person down the block. It’s a daily bad habit I work to break all the time!
- I go back and forth on loving/hating being a working mom (and all the guilt that comes with it) Some days I can't drop off Colton fast enough, other days it’s tough to walk out the door.
- I am VERY conscious of my weight. Like on any given day I can tell you exactly how much I weigh, today, for example I weigh one hundred and no-way-am-I-putting-that-on-here!... mmmhmm no I do not have a disorder, and no I am not as content with my weight as I should be (thank God i do not have a daughter!! lol)
- We already know I shop at thrift stores since I am so frugal with my clothing
- I am OBSESSED with reality television. I love it...LOVE it. All the drama without being involved...can't get enough.
- I take things far too personally and then dwell on them and read into things FAR too much. "What they didn't try my recipe? OMG they hate me and don't wanna be my friend. I can tell...they don't like me. If they liked me they would have tried it." I’m sure I drive Alfie crazy.
- A messy house makes me feel VERY overwhelmed. *hint hint Alfie* If there is a lot going on and then the house is messy, I will shut down and then freak out (and as we read earlier, I am messy, so you can imagine the freak outs happen a-lot!).
- I hate change with every fiber of my being. i hattttttteeeeee ittttttttt. Might explain why I hold so tightly to things I can control and tend to like things MY way.... which is usually the best way but that’s another post in its self.

So, see, next time you think: "Darn that Kimi, has her stuff together", you can refer to this post and know that no, no I just do a really good fake out :)