Dear NonPregnant Kimi,
One day, you are going to get the “itch”. You are going to look around and see pregnant woman and little babies in abundance, and you are going to want to be them and have another one. So this is my reminder to you, to be content with your 2. Because as I will easily point out, you are NOT a pleasant pregnant person…
There are some things you can endure, gracefully, but pregnancy is not one of them. You constantly find you need to keep yourself in check, often, to keep from being a massive Debbie downer. Considering what a blessing pregnancy is and the struggle many people have to either conceive or carry a baby, you should probably keep your mouth shut far more often. Right? Well in the effort to be honest and keep things real (Live without pretending, right??) you won’t and you dont. Why? Well because pregnancy for some (like you) is really hard, really uncomfortable and really a difficult 9 month journey. One in which you know that you don’t handle well. And if you keep your yap shut, not only will you end up feeling alone in your frustrations (thus alienating yourself and assisting in a fast downward spiral to depression), but it was always your hope there might be another pregnant soul out there who can relate and remind you that “this too shall pass”. While you are one who LOVES the end result (what’s not to love about a cute cuddly bundle of you and Alfie goodness??), you really really struggle with the journey to get there. Like really REALLY struggle. For you, it’s a means to an end. It’s not a journey you particularly love. And I know you feel bad saying that, but if we are honest with yourself and others, you do not enjoy being pregnant.
You have found that the realities of the first pregnancy are far more clear and present than they were before. It’s not all hearts and bunnies the second time around. With the first you were in the land of puppy dogs and flowers, hearts and bunnies. Everything was dreamy. When tired, you rested. Lazily, you lounged and pampered yourself whenever, wherever while your doting hubby fed you grapes straight from the vine and fanneds you with a palm branch after having massaged your feet. Wait a minute! Who are we kidding?? That’s sooo not how things went down!…bummer, I know. But anyways, with the first you blissfully lived in the world of ignorance of what’s to come: 3rd trimester discomfort, labor, recovery, sleepless nights etc. Not so much with child numero dos. While the joy and excitement is 100% there, the reality of what’s to come is right behind it. That ignorant bliss you had with Colton, is nowhere to be seen and that eye opening reality of “Dear Lord, I have how many months left??…help!!” has become a constant prayer.
However, in the midst of all that discomfort, you have found that laughing about the hotmess you have become is a great way to ease that unpleasant persona. Because as we all either know, or end up finding out is that pregnancy is a bundle of unglamourous months! And anyone who may try to tell you differently is sugar coating it and LY-ING to you! So instead of being miserable 99.9% of the time, you tryyyyy to find the humor in your discomfort. It’s those humourous moments that make you chuckle (clearly in hindsight) and think, “there are VERY few men in this world who could survive this” and that makes you smirk and eases the discomfort a smidge. Just as a reminder, Kimi, let’s see what makes it so unglamorous. Wheeeeellll, let me remind you! First, you seem to be one of the “blessed” ones as you get morning all the time sickness. Puking that could be spurred by the mere scent of your husbands cologne that you picked for him because, well, back in the day, it smelled amazing. Then ofcourse there is the insane hunger that over takes your body. You go from “sure, I could nibble” to “GET ME A MOTHER EFFING *insert food of choice*” in seconds, only to then fall asleep from the food binge, to then waking up from the heartburn (because silly you, thought you could lay down after eating with no problems….false…so.very.false.) Since you are already awake from the heartburn, you might as well get up to pee, thus starting the dreaded cycle of pee interruptions to your day, or evening or perfectly good night’s sleep. Or how about the precious feeling of your little one jamming their legs into your bladder, ribs, lungs, anything? Which then keeps you from resting comfortably. How about the feeling that your pelvis is just sloooowly separating. Maybe it’s the innocent sneeze or cough that makes you pee yourself. Or the sensitive nipples that make a cold breeze feel like someone is holding a match to them and attempting to burn them off your body! The headaches, the swelling, the list of random unglamorous pregnancy symptoms goes on. And while you will have kind and oh so loving friends and family encourage you with “you have that pregnancy glow” or “You look fantastic!” or “You are all belly!” deep down you know that instance when you have gone from not bad to hot mess. Shall we recall stroller shopping for Colton? Sneezing only to then pee yourself right there in the store. *sigh* to the point where you had to purchase an entire new bottom half to your outfit for the day. You haven’t lived until you have peed yourself in public, don’t you forget that!
So, Kimi, this note is purely to document these feelings, because one day, all these awful memories will fade, and Colty and Lucy will be bigger and you will longingly look at newborns and think “I want another, I’m ready, it’s time.” and you will desperately need these words from pregnant Kimi to nonpregnant Kimi to remind you that there is NO WAY, on this green earth you can go through it again!! So future Kimi, when that time comes, reread this post (as many times as needed), smile that you made it through 2 pregnancies, kiss your adorable grown babies and thank the good Lord that you are done!!! J
Love,
Pregnant Kimi
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