I probably shouldnt admit this, but....

Confession: I love me a good guilty pleasure…

Who doesn’t, right?! You know, those things you enjoy that sort of make you cringe when you are forced to admit how much you actually enjoy them. Yep, those! I have a LOT of them. But here we go enjoy these guilty pleasures…

*Reality Shows – Real housewives, Keeping up with the Kardashians, Guiliana and Bill, Millionaire Matchmaker, Don’t be Tardy, Married to Jonas, Duck Dynasty (this one is actually really wholesome)… the list could keep going. Nothing keeps my attention longer and better than a hot mess of reality show goodness. And while most people can’t be bothered with watching that kind of “trashy” tv as they call it, I am drawn to it, like a crazed moth to a flame! It’s sad, I know, but that’s just some good tv, Jack!! It doesn’t even have to be one of my “regular” shows for me to watch. I’ll pop on the tv and “well hello there Shahs of Sunset” or “Good afternoon, It’s a Brad Brad world! I’ll pop my feet up and have a watch!” I really can’t help myself and much prefer shows like that to sitcoms, which are what Alfie prefers. And it’s kind of sad, because if there isn’t a reality show repeat on, I’m kind of like “mehh, whats the point?” I’d rather just not watch tv than watch something else. I’ll even sit through an episode I’ve seen before, or multiple times, just to watch the show. *cringe* Yeah, It’s bad. I know.

*Dancing – It could be a wedding, a club, in my car, in my room, at church, anywhere. I hear a good song with a great beat and I really can’t help bobbing my head and swaying to the beat, just itching to let loose and dance. It’s funny cause my niece Madelyn is the same way. You put on a good tune (aka “Turkey in the Straw”) and girl just can’t help it. You can see it! Her little legs start bouncing, her arms swing and she dances! Girl after my own heart! It’s very rare that a good song will come on and I will not “react” to it. I may not go full blown hardcore in public, but you can bet in my head, I am jamming! Dancing like no one is around, and pretending I’m not an adult who needs to act her age. (If you’d like to test this theory, I suggest throwing on the following songs when im around: Take on Me; Living on a Prayer; or Don’t Stop Believing. Just don’t do an MJ song… I have a strict “no dancing” policy for Michael. It’s a respect thing…boo ya!)

*Gumballs – My dentist can probably attest that I love these with all the bills he has sent my way for all the work he has had to do. But I can (and will) eat my way through an entire bag of gumballs or bubble gum within a day or 2. How you may ask?, Well, I literally grab the bag of gum, and a napkin, paper towel or tissue and pop 1-3 pieces in, chew until the flavor/sugar/juiciness is gone, discard the gum into my napkin and then start over again. It’s kinda like someone with chewing tobacco and a “spitcup” (which I have been known to use a Styrofoam cup instead of a napkin, paper towel or tissue and actually spit the gum into it…yeah…groady). It’s bad, and pretty weird, but I can’t help it! The bag of gum will call to me until I have successful eaten the entire thing. Alfie thinks it’s pretty gross actually and is not a fan when I do it.

*80’s music – I am a sucker for a good 80’s tune. I’m pretty sure I was born many years too late. I didn’t get to enjoy those delightful songs of the decade: “Take on Me”, “Dying in your arms tonight”, anything by Journey, Chicago, Wham, and even the Dirty Dancing sound track, are fantastic. The electronic sound, mixed with the sappy lyrics and snappy beat, are just a win-win-win in my book! During the many hours painting the nursery for Lucy, you can bet that my Pandora station of choice was *gasp* 80’s hits. I don’t know why, but that decade of music was great, and classic and with potential to live on forever. I just can’t help break out into song and dance when a good 80’s tune hits! Mmmm love it!

*Dabble in Hair and Makeup - There are many times I think I may have missed my calling. I love all things hair and makeup related and if I could take classes here and there on doing makeup and styling or cutting hair, I would. For some reason, I just enjoy trying new looks out or getting asked to do hair for someone’s special event. And I by no means am fantastic, but I certainly enjoy it. And you can bet, that when my babies are in school, this mama might be headed back for some additional schooling of her own J

*Movies/Shows that make me ugly cry – I am a crier. I think it’s because I can empathize with things, and so often, with books and or movies, if something touches me, I will cry. And man, sometimes, it is a gut wrenching, full blown, sob fest! Perfect example: Last night I watched the second to last episode of “The Office”. I wept. Alfie laughed (at me). It could be the hormones, or the fact that we all (except her) knew Pam was MORE than enough for Jim, either way it could have easily turned into quite the “ugly cry” moment...If it wasn’t for Alfie laughing at me.  Rudy is probably the most consistent culprit of making me ugly cry, at 2 different parts too: when he gets into Notre Dame (yeah Spoiler alert) and when they carry him off the field….every.time. and yet I will watch that movie any and every time it is on tv! And oddly I don’t mind! I feel better after a good ugly cry and can wipe the tears and go on with my day…fulfilled.

So there you have it! Some of my guilty pleasures. What are yours??  

Faith

I have had the below blog post written since June 22^nd 2012. It never felt like the right time for me to post it. It always felt intimate, personal, and even a bit concerning that it wouldn’t be taken the way it was intended. But recently I have read it, many times over, and keep having a sense that I should share it. My prayer is that it is the Spirit tugging and that it will be well received. I planned to save it for Faith’s birthday but thought that might be too difficult of a time.

 So to my dear friends, you three are thought of often, and Faiths life, although brief has touched my heart and my life forever. I pray this is somewhat of a blessing to you…from my heart to yours...

My blogs are usually silly. Random ramblings from me. But not today. Today it’s much more focused. It’s focused on two very special people. Two people who experienced something that they never should have to. The loss of their precious daughter Faith.

And so my heart is weary and sad. For them, not for Faith, as she gets to rest in the arms of our perfect Savior. But for the mommy and daddy who have to endure until the day they meet their Faith again. And so as their friend I hurt and cry for them. For the loss they experience. But am rejoicing in the comfort they have.  And so to them I’d like to share what their beautiful Faith has reminded me. How her beautiful life has touched mine…

Faith reminded me to trust. To Trust in my Savior, to trust in my faith, to trust in Him, even when my thoughts and heart may question “Why?”.

She has reminded me to believe that God’s plan always is sovereign.  There is something so very comforting in knowing that despite MY plans, God’s plan is always right, always for me, and always for Good. No.matter.what. I can rest in that fact. And I can believe that no matter what I go through the same God that comforts my dear friends, will comfort me. The same God who directs their steps, will direct mine.  The same Lord that is cuddling little Faith, will know my heart for things far less trivial or important and ache with me. I love that.

Faith has reminded me to surround  myself with people who will point me to the cross for all things.  It could be so easy to lose heart and lose faith and feel so alone. But with friends who will lift me to the throne of God in prayer, the comfort of that is unreal.  The comfort of knowing that I don’t even have to ask, and there would be people who would fast and intercede on another believer’s behalf is so special. What a precious thing to see the out pour of love and support between believers.

So to those very special parents. Your beautiful Faith has been such a reminder to me.  In a few short days, her life has already done so very much.  She has planted seeds of Christ’s love in so many hearts. I can only imagine what a proud mommy and daddy you must be.

Hey lets give a little TMI....

Confession: My belly finds out info I didnt need to know.

I went to target the other night and as I was cashing out, the cashier was chatting up my belly. I like to say that a pregnant belly is an instant conversation starter and friendship maker. It got intimate and a bit TMI fast… Anyways, the convo went like this….

Cashier: How much longer? *smile, nod towards belly*

Me: 5 weeks

C: Oh wow, you have a bit still

M: *smile/grimace* yeah

C: Do you know what you are having?

M: a girl

C: Aww that’s great! Are you excited?! Is this your first

M: Yeah its nice. No, we have a little boy. He is 2 ½

C: Oooo one of each!

M: Yep, one of each and now we are done.

C: Oh you never know! I said that to my husband and we now have 4 kids. 2 of which I got pregnant with while on Birth control. *TMI*

Me: *starting to get awkward* Oh, no. We are for sure done. It’s a csection. So I’ll uhh have them take care of things while they are in there.

Cashier: Oh I keep trying to get my husband to go in for the surgery! I hate being on Mirena (NAME OF HER BC!!!)

M: *continued awkwardness but she was nice and put all my bags in my cart for me* Ohhh ok. Thank you, I appreciate that! *nodding towards the filled cart*

C: No problem! Good luck and have a nice night.

M: thanks, you too.

Now we are officially BFFs.

Lesson Learned.

Confession:  I learned a valuable mommy lesson.

The other day I had walked to the Strong Museum of play to grab a sub for lunch from Subway. It was sunny, and a nice day to waddle myself the 2 blocks. I had every intention of walking back and eating at my desk but after ordering my Italian BMT sub, i was tired (ofcourse), so I found a table in the extremely empty cafeteria there and started to eat. A few minutes later my sister called and we were chatting about baby stuff while I ate. No more than 5 mins later a frazzled mom pushing her jam packed stroller comes by, with scream-crying child in tow, along with her friend and her son, and wouldn’t you know they pick the table DIRECTLY in front of me. Not off to the side, not a table away, not on the other side of the empty cafeteria. Nope. Directly in front of me. Oh Lord. The one friend drops off her son and goes up to put in her order while the frazzled mom is trying to console her extremely LOUD child (with no consideration to the fact that A. I was here first or B. I was on my phone). And what happens when a child is crying so hard and screaming and mucus filled??! That’s right, they start gagging, then puking. This child was no different. As I sat there on my phone, attempting to eat my lunch and chat with my sister, I was forced to watch a 2 year old puke a mixture of phlem and juice up into the moms hand, all over the chair and onto the floor. Gross. So. Gross. I should have been more compassionate, I should have been more understanding (we have all been there, right?), I should have been like “whatever”. But it bugged me! Not once did she turn to me and apologize that I had to witness that during my lunch, not once was there any consideration that I was there first, eating, and clearly chatting on my phone. Nothing, not even an apologetic look. And with that I learned a valuable lesson. I should be far more considerate of those around me when my child is acting up. I should be more considerate that there are people who might be out, enjoying a relaxing, child free time and shouldn’t have to listen to my child being difficult. I should be more considerate to pick seating when my child is being naughty as FAR away from people as possible. Lesson.Learned. I should be more considerate.

My Pregnancy Blessings...for Lauren

Dear Future Pregnant Lor,

Per your request, I thought I would counter my prior post, with a more positive post about pregnancy and address it to you, dear friend, for when you are pregnant. So that you may read this and smile at the joys of what’s to come J

Since you are stunning now, I can only imagine, how gorgeous you are going to be and feel with the recommended 30lb (minimum) weight gain. You’ll have that natural glow about you and that blossoming belly will just be begging to be lovingly touched by all the well-meaning passerby’s. But how wonderful it will be, as that belly will work as an instant conversation starter! You will be inundated with “when are you due?”, “do you know the sex?”, “How much longer?” A gentle reminder that you have many days left on this beautiful journey to enjoy! It also aids in making friends wherever you go. It’s such a blessing! It will be these same new friends, at the office, at a party, out and about, that will remind you that you get to eat for two, so to be sure and pile that food onto your plate or grab an additional helping. The baby needs it. And lucky for you, you won’t have to worry about a tightening waist line as you will get to wear stretch pants!!! I am so thankful for comfortable stretch pants. I am especially thankful for trends that promote the wearing of stretch pants without the need to wear something that covers your lady parts. In pregnancy you can wear leggings as PANTS and nobody says anything. It really is awesome.

You will also be invited to partake in any and every “free” food event at work. It’s fantastic. Free donuts? Don’t forget to offer a few to Lauren. Free subs? Make sure Lauren gets a few pieces. Someone ordered pizza? Take a slice or two up to Lauren, she’d love that! Oh and don’t forget about those cravings you get to indulge in! No one bats an eyelash when you polish off a full box of cereal alone, smile and say “the baby was hungry” with a chuckle. People instantly nod along with you and tell you its okay, baby needs to eat.

And let’s not forget the blessings of naming your child. Joyously flipping through lists among lists of names and being sure to weed out anything that might remind you or your spouse of a less than godly individual or a saddle your child with a name that doesn’t promote bible prosperity and a positive future. Such prayers of thanksgiving are said when you land upon that name, because everyone will love it and everyone will have such positive and non-opinionated or passive ideals about the creative name, middle name and nicknames you have chosen for your newborn.

And most importantly let’s not forget how amazing you will feel!! Knowing that within your being, you are responsible for the health and wellness of this tiny life. You’ll work out, and eat well, and be appreciative of every kick and nudge, wiggle and roll of that active babe in your womb. Even at 3am in the morning, and especially when it reminds you to awaken and empty your bladder! (It’s a great thing they remind us, so that we avoid the embarrassment of wetting the bed!)

And finally, because you are so stunning and you married a good looking gent, you will have rockin’ model children. With lots of your dark hair (so all that heartburn will be so worth it!) and your fantastic green eyes. And because of all these wonderful pregnancy blessings and benefits and how amazingly pretty your children will be, you will have not 1 but 2, 3 maybe 4 babies, that you will puuuuush through your lady parts. But have no fear, the doctor will treat you well and leave “Ryans playground” stitched up well and not like a demolition crew came through.

I pray that you never forget these wonderful blessings!

Your BFF,

-Kim

#soblessed #sothankful #thisistotallytongueincheek #sarcastic #cantwaittilyouareexpecting

A note to myself...from myself...

Dear NonPregnant Kimi,

One day, you are going to get the “itch”. You are going to look around and see pregnant woman and little babies in abundance, and you are going to want to be them and have another one. So this is my reminder to you, to be content with your 2. Because as I will easily point out, you are NOT a pleasant pregnant person…

There are some things you can endure, gracefully, but pregnancy is not one of them. You constantly find you need to keep yourself in check, often, to keep from being a massive Debbie downer. Considering what a blessing pregnancy is and the struggle many people have to either conceive or carry a baby, you should probably keep your mouth shut far more often. Right? Well in the effort to be honest and keep things real (Live without pretending, right??) you won’t and you dont. Why? Well because pregnancy for some (like you) is really hard, really uncomfortable and really a difficult 9 month journey. One in which you know that you don’t handle well. And if you keep your yap shut, not only will you end up feeling alone in your frustrations (thus alienating yourself and assisting in a fast downward spiral to depression), but it was always your hope there might be another pregnant soul out there who can relate and remind you that “this too shall pass”. While you are one who LOVES the end result (what’s not to love about a cute cuddly bundle of you and Alfie goodness??), you really really struggle with the journey to get there. Like really REALLY struggle. For you, it’s a means to an end. It’s not a journey you particularly love. And I know you feel bad saying that, but if we are honest with yourself and others, you do not enjoy being pregnant.

You have found that the realities of the first pregnancy are far more clear and present than they were before. It’s not all hearts and bunnies the second time around. With the first you were in the land of puppy dogs and flowers, hearts and bunnies. Everything was dreamy. When tired, you rested. Lazily, you lounged and pampered yourself whenever, wherever while your doting hubby fed you grapes straight from the vine and fanneds you with a palm branch after having massaged your feet. Wait a minute! Who are we kidding?? That’s sooo not how things went down!…bummer, I know. But anyways, with the first you blissfully lived in the world of ignorance of what’s to come: 3^rd trimester discomfort, labor, recovery, sleepless nights etc. Not so much with child numero dos. While the joy and excitement is 100% there, the reality of what’s to come is right behind it. That ignorant bliss you had with Colton, is nowhere to be seen and that eye opening reality of “Dear Lord, I have how many months left??…help!!” has become a constant prayer.

However, in the midst of all that discomfort, you have found that laughing about the hotmess you have become is a great way to ease that unpleasant persona. Because as we all either know, or end up finding out is that pregnancy is a bundle of unglamourous months! And anyone who may try to tell you differently is sugar coating it and LY-ING to you! So instead of being miserable 99.9% of the time, you tryyyyy to find the humor in your discomfort. It’s those humourous moments that make you chuckle (clearly in hindsight) and think, “there are VERY few men in this world who could survive this” and that makes you smirk and eases the discomfort a smidge. Just as a reminder, Kimi, let’s see what makes it so unglamorous. Wheeeeellll, let me remind you! First, you seem to be one of the “blessed” ones as you get morning all the time sickness. Puking that could be spurred by the mere scent of your husbands cologne that you picked for him because, well, back in the day, it smelled amazing. Then ofcourse there is the insane hunger that over takes your body. You go from “sure, I could nibble” to “GET ME A MOTHER EFFING *insert food of choice*” in seconds, only to then fall asleep from the food binge, to then waking up from the heartburn (because silly you, thought you could lay down after eating with no problems….false…so.very.false.) Since you are already awake from the heartburn, you might as well get up to pee, thus starting the dreaded cycle of pee interruptions to your day, or evening or perfectly good night’s sleep. Or how about the precious feeling of your little one jamming their legs into your bladder, ribs, lungs, anything? Which then keeps you from resting comfortably. How about the feeling that your pelvis is just sloooowly separating. Maybe it’s the innocent sneeze or cough that makes you pee yourself. Or the sensitive nipples that make a cold breeze feel like someone is holding a match to them and attempting to burn them off your body! The headaches, the swelling, the list of random unglamorous pregnancy symptoms goes on. And while you will have kind and oh so loving friends and family encourage you with “you have that pregnancy glow” or “You look fantastic!” or “You are all belly!” deep down you know that instance when you have gone from not bad to hot mess. Shall we recall stroller shopping for Colton? Sneezing only to then pee yourself right there in the store. *sigh* to the point where you had to purchase an entire new bottom half to your outfit for the day. You haven’t lived until you have peed yourself in public, don’t you forget that!

So, Kimi, this note is purely to document these feelings, because one day, all these awful memories will fade, and Colty and Lucy will be bigger and you will longingly look at newborns and think “I want another, I’m ready, it’s time.” and you will desperately need these words from pregnant Kimi to nonpregnant Kimi to remind you that there is NO WAY, on this green earth you can go through it again!! So future Kimi, when that time comes, reread this post (as many times as needed), smile that you made it through 2 pregnancies, kiss your adorable grown babies and thank the good Lord that you are done!!! J

Love,

Pregnant Kimi