Ode to Bikers

Confession: I hate bikers. Not the bad ass, leather clad, bandana wearing mother effers that ride REAL bikes like Harleys or crotch rockets. Noooo im talking about those little effers that ride bicycles! Yeah you know who i mean. The Lance Armstrong wanna be's, the "im pretending im in the Tour De France", the im just an average joe with a gut but im gonna stuff myself into one of those skin tight shirts and spandex shorts. The riding on the white liners when they have 3 feet of SAFE road to ride on. Yes those are the people i am referring to. There is something about seeing people on bicycles that instantly irks me. 2 examples:
1. Now bikers should know that they are considered vehicles therefore ADHERE TO THE VEHICLE RULES!!!!! One being ride WITH traffic not against. Alf and i see this duche bag all dressed up in the skin tight spandex outfits which one would think "hmmm they are real cyclists and know the rules" NOPE he was riding against traffic and yelled at US when we laid on the horn to inform him.

2. Not stopping at the stop signs. BECAUSE you are on a bike doesnt mean that you get to run stop signs. NOPE you must stop just like a car effer. So this little old lady was riding her bike and we get to a four way stop and we were there before she got there so we go but little old bitty looks like she was gonna blow through the stop sign. TRY AGAIN LADY. we went like we were gonna go and ofcourse she thought we were gonna hit her but we stopped and then went, a nice way to "teach" those old dogs a new trick.

Am icrazy? does it not irk anyone else that they have to swerve to give the bike rider more room when they ride on the white line? I mean come on!!! there is so much room between the white line and the grass! Must you push your luck for getting hit by riding so close to the cars? And those people who arent training for something important, dont ride wearing spandex! Just wear shorts and a tshirt!! And dont ride on busy roads! 250, 441, Holt, Lake. FIND A BACK ROAD!! there are plenty of not busy roads for you to "live out a fantasy", lay off the busy streets!!

My Wena

Ok So i was listening to the tv radio stations and this song comes on called "My Wena" (yeah it sounds like weiner but with an A instead of -er) by Bowling for Soup.

The more i listened to the words of the song the more i realized "HOLY CRAP IS THIS ABOUT THE DUDES WEINER!!!???!" And i think it is. i will highlight areas of specific examples....

Her name is Wena.
Hey, have you seen-a?
Everyone says she's amazing.
She gets so jealous,
She sticks her head up
When I'm checkin' out the ladies. ummm yeah tell me thats not about a boner!
And she needs so much attention
She's always hangin' around. ----> yep thats a limp wang!

My Wena is lonely tonight.
(My Wena)
She cries when I turn out the light
(My Wena)
She's only happy when I'm holdin' her tight ----> come on really?!?
Oh, My Wena.
Take a look at my Wena.

My little Wena,
Queen of the scene
And all the girls wanna be around her
Her skin is so soft,
I can't keep my hands off --> ARGGG please no more descriptions!!
Ever since the day I found her.
And she'll make your heart beat faster
With the wink of an eye.

My Wena is lonely tonight.
(My Wena)
She cries when I turn out the light
(My Wena)
She's only happy when I'm holdin' her tight
Oh, My Wena.
Have you seen my Wena?
Get a load o' my…

Sometimes she can't sleep at night
And I wake up and she's just a-lookin' at me
And she snuggles up tight when it's cold outside
She likes to show off when we're walkin' the beach
And she's always up for goin' extra innings
She's a sucker for a happy ending. ---> Come on! REALLY?!
And we may not always agree,
But she's always here with me.

My Wena is lonely tonight.
She cries when I turn out the light
She's only happy when I'm holdin' her tight
My Wena.
(Take a look at my Wena).

My Wena is lonely tonight.
(My wonderful Wena)
She cries when I turn out the light
(She wants to get between ya)
She's only happy when I'm holdin' her tight
Oh, My Wena.
My wonderful Wena.

I hope someone else has heard this and can confirm my Wena suspicions. I mean what is coming next? My Gina?? (as in Va-gina, for you slow ones). Maybe i am just dirty minded and automatically took this song to "that place" and maybe it is really about a girl named Wena but hmmm im guessing that is doubtful and that this song is really about some dude's junk. nice. Soon all the kiddies will be singing about how lonely their Wena's are tonite. LOL