Part 2:
April 6th
Today I am just defeated. Im mad, im angry im pissed off. Im mad at people who didn’t have to go through this. Im mad at alfie for not having to feel this way. Im mad at feeling so sick and tired. I hate that I cant do anything. I cant even take a poop. Everything is a massive ordeal. I have zero desire to be happy and zero desire to do anything. I look forward to going home so I don’t have to fake being ok like I do at work. I wish people understood. Anyone understood. I just want me back. I don’t want this anymore. I thought this is supposed to be the greatest time in your life. I hate the people who say “I loved being pregnant” well you know what, I wish this on you. I hope that next time you are so sick you cant get out of bed. That you lay there and think, “God, is this what Kimi went through?” Im not hungry, I don’t want to eat, but I force myself to eat because the consequence is vomiting and nausea. You try eating when you have no desire to and when you aren’t the least bit hungry. Its not fun to force feed yourself. I just wish this was different. If I could lay in bed everyday all day I probably would. Im even tired of the couch. Im just going to hole up in my bed and cry.
Today is just bad. I am so angry. So angry. I want people to feel how I feel both physically and emotionally.
April 9th
Today I am tired but at the same time numb. When its me alone with my thoughts its just nothing. No joy , no happiness, no excitement. Just quiet and numb. Im so tired of feeling this way. Is it just me? Am I crazy? Was it not this bad for everyone? And if not then why do I need to go through this. I think about the other friends of mine who are pregnant or had a baby and I get so frusterated because I want to be ok. I want to enjoy this but I cant. I get so down…so down. Man I am tired today. I guess I did too much yesterday. One of the most frusterating parts is that I am not hungry. Not at all. But I have to keep eating so that I don’t feel nauseaous. But how do you eat when nothing sounds good and you aren’t even hungry?
April 14th
So I met someone…not in the way you think. I finally reached out for help on the HG site (Hypermesis Gravidarum - which was the ER diagnosis). And I found someone in Webster who has been through this. She had it far worse. She had to have a Picc line put in and everything, she even had to quit her job at 8 weeks because it was so bad. I wish I could do that. Today started out ok, but the long days wear on you. Im exhausted and my body actually aches today. My shoulders feel so tense and tight and my head feels super heavy. My stomach is growling but I have zero desire to eat. The thought alone makes me want to gag. I still feel alone often and still feel so drained and empty. Im not myself anymore. I feel like im being taken from the inside out. This is just so much more than I thought it would be.I weighted myself yesterday and was down 8 lbs, 9lbs if you count when I weighted myself in the middle of the night. Im just so tired of feeling like this.
Part 3
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
1st Trimester...They don't tell you it can be awful...
Confession: I have had a very tough pregnancy so far. From initially finding out and the drs thinking it was ectopic to being severely sick with vomiting and nausea to being in the ER to intense sadness and depression over feeling so sick. Midway through this ordeal i needed an outlet, i needed to write. And i did, honestly, openly, angrily, and sadly. So here they are, words and feelings from some tough times.I will separate into multiple posts... Don't hate, don't judge just pray :) .....
Part 1: April 5th
I have felt so sick. Right now I am 10 weeks and feel tolerable. The MS started promptly at 6wks. And it hit me like a truck. I started off just dry heaving every morning and then gradually moved to full on throwing up. It was tough to make it into work and all I did was cry at how awful I felt. I was resentful that none of my friends had to go through this. I was missing work and the mere thought of eating turned my stomach. That’s when the real fun began. I finally called the doctor and he put me on the generic version of phenergan, but because I couldn’t keep things down I couldn’t tolerate swallowing pills because of the large amount of fluids inorder to do so. So the prescribed suppositories. I would take them religiously ever 4-6hrs even throughout the day at work. Its just awful and you feel so discusting pushing meds into your bum. But although it worked, it knocked me out for a good 2-3hrs and when I woke I felt so fuzzy and out of it. It was even worse if I tried to fight the sleep, which is what I would have to do for work. I constantly felt out of it like I couldn’t focus and couldn’t work. Meanwhile I was still having trouble eating and drinking. My body just turned nauseous at the thought of food and even fluids grossed me out. I finally called the dr again and asked for something else, I couldn’t stay awake and the meds were making me unable to function at work. They offered to half the dosage and see if it helped. Unfortunately that day I called was a bad day. I threw up 3 times before work, and another 2 times at work all before 11. I finally had to tell my supervisor and was sick again in the bathroom right after. Needless to say I went home. Promptly threw up when I got there. Had food…threw up, drank, threw up and the cycle went on. They had called my half dose meds and I picked them up at 3 and took them. They did nothing. I tried eating dinner that night and nothing stayed down. I was getting weaker and weaker with each vomit. My body was shot and I remember just crying and feeling awful. I took a second dose at 10 and went to bed. As I laid in bed I knew something was wrong. I knew it just didn’t feel right. My body was not supposed to feel like this. I called mom and asked her how I knew it was time to go to the hospital. She said you need to call the obgyn emergency line. So I called and told them my symptoms (I was 7weeks….March 18th) and they said I need to go the emergency room. So at 10pm alfie and I went and called mom on the way. Her and dad met us there. Praise the Lord it was a slow night there and I was able to get in to be seen quickly. They gave me 2.5-3 bags of IV and then something to eat and by 4am we were on our way home. Friday I stayed home from work and rested the remainder of the weekend. I wouldn’t say I felt great but I felt hydrated atleast. But come Monday I began to lag again and the vomiting returned. Mon, Tues and again on Wed I felt like I was starting to relapse back to where I would end up in the hospital again. I called the dr, feeling like I was beginning to sound like a broken record and asked for something to help with the vomiting. They finally prescribed Zofran, which is usually prescribed to chemo/radiation patients for their nausea. I took it and within 30mins I could notice a difference. I was able to keep food down and fluids and I was less nauseous. Took that for 10days and was supposed to go off and try it without meds for a day or so and then call for a refill if the vomiting returned. Well I didn’t let myself take that chance. I just called and asked for a refill and they gave it to me (ofcourse I had to pretend that I went off of it for a day or so). But in an effort to be true to the process I attempted to ween myself from 2 pills to 1. It seemed to work ok on Friday and Saturday, although by evening Saturday I needed to take it as I started to feel sick again. And same with Sunday. That brings us to today, Monday April 5th. The day started out rocky,I don’t know if I was overly tired or just dreading work and the inablility to rest all day. Either way, I felt nauseous as a I got up, but I forced myself to eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast. When I got to work I had some craisins, half a bagel and then some goya cookies. Then it was time for lunch. By then I didn’t feel great but knew I had to eat something or I would feel worse, so I had a breaded chicken sandwich. It didn’t look greasy and I figured chicken with bread is probably a safe bet. FALSE. I ate it and by 1 had thrown everything up. And I mean everything. I nursed a yogurt after and am now sipping an ensure in hopes that they will stay down.
People don’t tell you about this side of pregnancy. They don’t tell you how hurt you feel or how people look at you like you are just a wimp and need to suck it up. They don’t tell you that every trick in the book doesn’t even touch your vomiting or nausea. Or that if you don’t have the luxery of staying home and resting then you are screwed. I wish people understood. I wish friends got it. I wish they really knew what it was like to feel so sick that you cant even think about having a baby or that joy. That all you think about is what can I eat that wont make me throw up, or how long until I can lay down. They don’t tell you that you get so angry that you cant do anything about it. That the simple act of taking a shower completely drains you. That you will eat then throw up and drink then throw up and all you can do it cry while you cool off by laying on the bathroom floor. Or that when no ones around you crawl from the bathroom to the couch because standing is too much work. No people don’t tell you that part. They don’t say that you get depressed. That you get so sad because you worry what if you cant bond with this baby because of how sick you feel. That you want to physically hurt people who tell you try eating small meals, as if that will help. That you don’t hang out with friends because you are too tired to move and to embarrassed to have people see the mess you and your house has become. That every waking moment you pray for relief. Yeah, they don’t tell you that… So I will. Ill tell you that it has been hell. That the only way to describe it is to have food poisoning + a horrible hangover all day 24hrs. I’ll tell you that I will seriously consider this as our only child. I will tell you that you can’t even think past the next hour. I’ll tell you that I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy, yet sadly I do wish someone I knew felt like this, so I wouldn’t feel alone. Nope no one tells you this is the worst sick you have ever been in your entire life. They just look at you with those sad eyes and you just want to scream. That you just want to rip out your uterus and forgo the chance of having kids… that you actually tell your sister to adopt and to never get pregnant. That all you want to do is cry, breakdown and cry when people ask how you feel so that maybe through those tears they would get it. You lose weight from all the vomiting….5 or 6lbs so far. You take baths because standing for showers is too much. So you cant wash your hair unless you kneel and put your head under the spout in the bath. You cant blow dry your hair because you are so weak. I have never known what it was like to feel like you are dying but If I had to guess, id say it felt an awful lot like this.
I don’t write this for pity. I write this for understanding. So that when I say, “my morning sickness has been bad” you understand the understatement that that is. So that the next time someone else says they are having bad morning sickness, you get it and you keep your mouth shut. So that you pray, you petition, you BEG God for relief for this person.
Part 2
Part 1: April 5th
I have felt so sick. Right now I am 10 weeks and feel tolerable. The MS started promptly at 6wks. And it hit me like a truck. I started off just dry heaving every morning and then gradually moved to full on throwing up. It was tough to make it into work and all I did was cry at how awful I felt. I was resentful that none of my friends had to go through this. I was missing work and the mere thought of eating turned my stomach. That’s when the real fun began. I finally called the doctor and he put me on the generic version of phenergan, but because I couldn’t keep things down I couldn’t tolerate swallowing pills because of the large amount of fluids inorder to do so. So the prescribed suppositories. I would take them religiously ever 4-6hrs even throughout the day at work. Its just awful and you feel so discusting pushing meds into your bum. But although it worked, it knocked me out for a good 2-3hrs and when I woke I felt so fuzzy and out of it. It was even worse if I tried to fight the sleep, which is what I would have to do for work. I constantly felt out of it like I couldn’t focus and couldn’t work. Meanwhile I was still having trouble eating and drinking. My body just turned nauseous at the thought of food and even fluids grossed me out. I finally called the dr again and asked for something else, I couldn’t stay awake and the meds were making me unable to function at work. They offered to half the dosage and see if it helped. Unfortunately that day I called was a bad day. I threw up 3 times before work, and another 2 times at work all before 11. I finally had to tell my supervisor and was sick again in the bathroom right after. Needless to say I went home. Promptly threw up when I got there. Had food…threw up, drank, threw up and the cycle went on. They had called my half dose meds and I picked them up at 3 and took them. They did nothing. I tried eating dinner that night and nothing stayed down. I was getting weaker and weaker with each vomit. My body was shot and I remember just crying and feeling awful. I took a second dose at 10 and went to bed. As I laid in bed I knew something was wrong. I knew it just didn’t feel right. My body was not supposed to feel like this. I called mom and asked her how I knew it was time to go to the hospital. She said you need to call the obgyn emergency line. So I called and told them my symptoms (I was 7weeks….March 18th) and they said I need to go the emergency room. So at 10pm alfie and I went and called mom on the way. Her and dad met us there. Praise the Lord it was a slow night there and I was able to get in to be seen quickly. They gave me 2.5-3 bags of IV and then something to eat and by 4am we were on our way home. Friday I stayed home from work and rested the remainder of the weekend. I wouldn’t say I felt great but I felt hydrated atleast. But come Monday I began to lag again and the vomiting returned. Mon, Tues and again on Wed I felt like I was starting to relapse back to where I would end up in the hospital again. I called the dr, feeling like I was beginning to sound like a broken record and asked for something to help with the vomiting. They finally prescribed Zofran, which is usually prescribed to chemo/radiation patients for their nausea. I took it and within 30mins I could notice a difference. I was able to keep food down and fluids and I was less nauseous. Took that for 10days and was supposed to go off and try it without meds for a day or so and then call for a refill if the vomiting returned. Well I didn’t let myself take that chance. I just called and asked for a refill and they gave it to me (ofcourse I had to pretend that I went off of it for a day or so). But in an effort to be true to the process I attempted to ween myself from 2 pills to 1. It seemed to work ok on Friday and Saturday, although by evening Saturday I needed to take it as I started to feel sick again. And same with Sunday. That brings us to today, Monday April 5th. The day started out rocky,I don’t know if I was overly tired or just dreading work and the inablility to rest all day. Either way, I felt nauseous as a I got up, but I forced myself to eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast. When I got to work I had some craisins, half a bagel and then some goya cookies. Then it was time for lunch. By then I didn’t feel great but knew I had to eat something or I would feel worse, so I had a breaded chicken sandwich. It didn’t look greasy and I figured chicken with bread is probably a safe bet. FALSE. I ate it and by 1 had thrown everything up. And I mean everything. I nursed a yogurt after and am now sipping an ensure in hopes that they will stay down.
People don’t tell you about this side of pregnancy. They don’t tell you how hurt you feel or how people look at you like you are just a wimp and need to suck it up. They don’t tell you that every trick in the book doesn’t even touch your vomiting or nausea. Or that if you don’t have the luxery of staying home and resting then you are screwed. I wish people understood. I wish friends got it. I wish they really knew what it was like to feel so sick that you cant even think about having a baby or that joy. That all you think about is what can I eat that wont make me throw up, or how long until I can lay down. They don’t tell you that you get so angry that you cant do anything about it. That the simple act of taking a shower completely drains you. That you will eat then throw up and drink then throw up and all you can do it cry while you cool off by laying on the bathroom floor. Or that when no ones around you crawl from the bathroom to the couch because standing is too much work. No people don’t tell you that part. They don’t say that you get depressed. That you get so sad because you worry what if you cant bond with this baby because of how sick you feel. That you want to physically hurt people who tell you try eating small meals, as if that will help. That you don’t hang out with friends because you are too tired to move and to embarrassed to have people see the mess you and your house has become. That every waking moment you pray for relief. Yeah, they don’t tell you that… So I will. Ill tell you that it has been hell. That the only way to describe it is to have food poisoning + a horrible hangover all day 24hrs. I’ll tell you that I will seriously consider this as our only child. I will tell you that you can’t even think past the next hour. I’ll tell you that I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy, yet sadly I do wish someone I knew felt like this, so I wouldn’t feel alone. Nope no one tells you this is the worst sick you have ever been in your entire life. They just look at you with those sad eyes and you just want to scream. That you just want to rip out your uterus and forgo the chance of having kids… that you actually tell your sister to adopt and to never get pregnant. That all you want to do is cry, breakdown and cry when people ask how you feel so that maybe through those tears they would get it. You lose weight from all the vomiting….5 or 6lbs so far. You take baths because standing for showers is too much. So you cant wash your hair unless you kneel and put your head under the spout in the bath. You cant blow dry your hair because you are so weak. I have never known what it was like to feel like you are dying but If I had to guess, id say it felt an awful lot like this.
I don’t write this for pity. I write this for understanding. So that when I say, “my morning sickness has been bad” you understand the understatement that that is. So that the next time someone else says they are having bad morning sickness, you get it and you keep your mouth shut. So that you pray, you petition, you BEG God for relief for this person.
Part 2
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Ohhh reallly??
So a friend of mine on facebook made a comment about how the female population who wears leggings needs to start wearing shirts that cover their camel toe...AMEN. This got me thinking of all the fashions that irk me. And here they are....
I can't stand those girls at the mall who have the "Thats right, i just rolled outta bed but look this good" but you have a full face of make up on! Yeah guess what girlies, you didnt fool anyone. We know that while you are wearing sweatpants, uggs and a hoodie, you took 30+mins to flat iron your hair THEN throw it up in a messy ponytail/bun thing AND THEN caked on eyeliner, Mascara, eyeshadow, foundation, AND lip gloss. You may have those pubescent, hormone infested boys fooled but the rest of us see past that "look". So come on, take the extra 5 minutes and actually put on an outfit OR skip the makeup and really just roll out of bed and head to the mall!!
Another "favorite" is the "hi i have 5 teenagers and they help pick out my wardrobe" Guess what mom.... you.are.not.a.teen.period. This means that yes you have to suck it up and stop shopping in the Jrs department, or Debs, or Rainbow. Grow old with class and elegance, you look 100times worse trying to stay trendy. Just admit defeat....no you can not wear leggings, or ponchos, or miniskirts. Embrace Ann Taylor Loft, the Limited, or Christopher Banks. Move on into the Misses, Petites or Womens section. Believe me, you will be so thankful when you look back at pictures.
And finally we come to the "hello my butt cheeks and crotch are juuuust about to pop out of these rediculously short shorts" Yeahhhh, I'm sorry but last time I checked we wore clothes over our underwear not just underwear around. It the inseam on a pair of short is virtually non-existant...its too short. Plus you tiny girls set a poor example for the not so tiny girls who also feel they have the right to sport that terrible style. It does not look good in a size 2 and it definitely does not look good in a size 14. Come on chicas! Here is an idea lets keep it in our pants! And by "it" my mean our cooters!! How about we not show everyone our lady parts.
So people lets TRY to think before we dress, so that we do not end up on this site....
www.peopleofwalmart.com
I can't stand those girls at the mall who have the "Thats right, i just rolled outta bed but look this good" but you have a full face of make up on! Yeah guess what girlies, you didnt fool anyone. We know that while you are wearing sweatpants, uggs and a hoodie, you took 30+mins to flat iron your hair THEN throw it up in a messy ponytail/bun thing AND THEN caked on eyeliner, Mascara, eyeshadow, foundation, AND lip gloss. You may have those pubescent, hormone infested boys fooled but the rest of us see past that "look". So come on, take the extra 5 minutes and actually put on an outfit OR skip the makeup and really just roll out of bed and head to the mall!!
Another "favorite" is the "hi i have 5 teenagers and they help pick out my wardrobe" Guess what mom.... you.are.not.a.teen.period. This means that yes you have to suck it up and stop shopping in the Jrs department, or Debs, or Rainbow. Grow old with class and elegance, you look 100times worse trying to stay trendy. Just admit defeat....no you can not wear leggings, or ponchos, or miniskirts. Embrace Ann Taylor Loft, the Limited, or Christopher Banks. Move on into the Misses, Petites or Womens section. Believe me, you will be so thankful when you look back at pictures.
And finally we come to the "hello my butt cheeks and crotch are juuuust about to pop out of these rediculously short shorts" Yeahhhh, I'm sorry but last time I checked we wore clothes over our underwear not just underwear around. It the inseam on a pair of short is virtually non-existant...its too short. Plus you tiny girls set a poor example for the not so tiny girls who also feel they have the right to sport that terrible style. It does not look good in a size 2 and it definitely does not look good in a size 14. Come on chicas! Here is an idea lets keep it in our pants! And by "it" my mean our cooters!! How about we not show everyone our lady parts.
So people lets TRY to think before we dress, so that we do not end up on this site....
www.peopleofwalmart.com
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Weddings
So i know i have been slacking. i know. but its tough to write when there isnt much to write about. Well correction, its tough to write when i feel like its bah humbug stuff. No one wants to read depressing blogs. we read for dirt and dishing and cool little tidbits. the last thing someone wants to read is about discouragement and frusteration. But now things are on the up and hopefully my blog tone will reflect that.
Ok so on to my topic.... weddings. Now i fully admit, i am a wedding snob. Yeah i know, im terrible, but the fact that i waited 25 years to get married, I think i have earned the right to critique any and every wedding i attend. And i will preface this by saying, i really do enjoy every wedding i have attended (for the most part). Its a special day for people and I respect that. Well a friend of mine (we shall call her Sophia to protect her identity)just recently went to a wedding and came back and told me details and we were SHOCKED at the similarities between Sophia's wedding and Abby's wedding (the Bride). I don't know, maybe I was reading too much into it when I told Sophia it was rediculous, but the programs were similar, the songs walked down the aisle were the same, the wedding color, the dj, the photographer, even the dessert was similar(ok they were exactly the same). I told Sophia it must have felt like she was at her own wedding. Now am i crazy? isnt it a bit odd? I mean I could understand if Abby hadn't been at Sophias wedding but SHE TOTALLY WAS THERE!!! AND i could understand if Abby had mentioned to Sophia "hey i loved your wedding, im totally taking some of your ideas" BUT COME ON!! to try to pass off all these similarities/exact likenesses as your own, is kinda shadey. Give credit where credit is due, Abby. I say all this because of my wedding snobbery. And like every bride, i feel that my wedding was PER.FECT. ... lol well in my eyes it was. i invited everyone i had wanted, the food was great, the atmosphere was great, the day was overall great. On the flip side, my pet peeve is when brides skimp on their day. Now hold on, i don't mean financially skimp, because not everyone can afford the same budget, but within ones means, to just throw your wedding day together annoys me. This is THE BIGGEST DAY IN YOUR LIFE and to just half-ass it is a slap in the face to weddings everywhere (again its the wedding snobbery coming out - don't hate). Go all out, live your dream out on that one day! And as a last thought to leave you with... next time you are at a wedding, all dressed up, and looking great... lean over to your date and start tearing that wedding apart....HAHA jk, lean over to your date and remember how wonderful your special day was OR how perfect it is going to be!!
Ok so on to my topic.... weddings. Now i fully admit, i am a wedding snob. Yeah i know, im terrible, but the fact that i waited 25 years to get married, I think i have earned the right to critique any and every wedding i attend. And i will preface this by saying, i really do enjoy every wedding i have attended (for the most part). Its a special day for people and I respect that. Well a friend of mine (we shall call her Sophia to protect her identity)just recently went to a wedding and came back and told me details and we were SHOCKED at the similarities between Sophia's wedding and Abby's wedding (the Bride). I don't know, maybe I was reading too much into it when I told Sophia it was rediculous, but the programs were similar, the songs walked down the aisle were the same, the wedding color, the dj, the photographer, even the dessert was similar(ok they were exactly the same). I told Sophia it must have felt like she was at her own wedding. Now am i crazy? isnt it a bit odd? I mean I could understand if Abby hadn't been at Sophias wedding but SHE TOTALLY WAS THERE!!! AND i could understand if Abby had mentioned to Sophia "hey i loved your wedding, im totally taking some of your ideas" BUT COME ON!! to try to pass off all these similarities/exact likenesses as your own, is kinda shadey. Give credit where credit is due, Abby. I say all this because of my wedding snobbery. And like every bride, i feel that my wedding was PER.FECT. ... lol well in my eyes it was. i invited everyone i had wanted, the food was great, the atmosphere was great, the day was overall great. On the flip side, my pet peeve is when brides skimp on their day. Now hold on, i don't mean financially skimp, because not everyone can afford the same budget, but within ones means, to just throw your wedding day together annoys me. This is THE BIGGEST DAY IN YOUR LIFE and to just half-ass it is a slap in the face to weddings everywhere (again its the wedding snobbery coming out - don't hate). Go all out, live your dream out on that one day! And as a last thought to leave you with... next time you are at a wedding, all dressed up, and looking great... lean over to your date and start tearing that wedding apart....HAHA jk, lean over to your date and remember how wonderful your special day was OR how perfect it is going to be!!
Im Back....again :)
So after 8 months of being unemployed i finally get a gigg at company X as a temp. Yeah a temp. thats ok because A. there doesnt seem to be as much pressure because i will leave eventually and B. whats the worst thing that happens? i get let go? been there done that! so far it hasnt been bad, the work hasnt been hard to understand and i feel like i can ask questions if need be without feeling dumb. Everyone here is fairly young and new to this group so again i feel like they know what its like to be the new person. Its still hard to get back into the workforce after being gone so long. i mean it was almost a year! But i will say it was bittersweet. God worked on me so much. Kodak was my arrogance. Unemployment was my humility. God stripped me of all that i had put my comfort in. My job, my money, my status. He removed it and showed me how to lean on him for life. He provided every month and then some. He allowed for a great anniversary, a few parties and a trip to florida. He is so good! Through out the time God gave me a song to cling to. It became my anthem. The astricked lines are my favorite parts:
Blessed Be Your Name
Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
***Every blessing You pour out
***I'll turn back to praise
***When the darkness closes in, Lord
***Still I will say
***Blessed be the name of the Lord
***Blessed be Your name
***Blessed be the name of the Lord
***Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
***Blessed be Your name
***On the road marked with suffering
***Though there's pain in the offering
***Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
***You give and take away
***You give and take away
***My heart will choose to say
***Lord, blessed be Your name
I just love that song. It lays out life so perfectly! Its never going to be easy but through it all I will CHOOSE to praise His name! I will choose to praise the One who has gone before, the One who has my life in HIS hands. Thank you Lord!
Blessed Be Your Name
Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
***Every blessing You pour out
***I'll turn back to praise
***When the darkness closes in, Lord
***Still I will say
***Blessed be the name of the Lord
***Blessed be Your name
***Blessed be the name of the Lord
***Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
***Blessed be Your name
***On the road marked with suffering
***Though there's pain in the offering
***Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
***You give and take away
***You give and take away
***My heart will choose to say
***Lord, blessed be Your name
I just love that song. It lays out life so perfectly! Its never going to be easy but through it all I will CHOOSE to praise His name! I will choose to praise the One who has gone before, the One who has my life in HIS hands. Thank you Lord!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Ode to Bikers
Confession: I hate bikers. Not the bad ass, leather clad, bandana wearing mother effers that ride REAL bikes like Harleys or crotch rockets. Noooo im talking about those little effers that ride bicycles! Yeah you know who i mean. The Lance Armstrong wanna be's, the "im pretending im in the Tour De France", the im just an average joe with a gut but im gonna stuff myself into one of those skin tight shirts and spandex shorts. The riding on the white liners when they have 3 feet of SAFE road to ride on. Yes those are the people i am referring to. There is something about seeing people on bicycles that instantly irks me. 2 examples:
1. Now bikers should know that they are considered vehicles therefore ADHERE TO THE VEHICLE RULES!!!!! One being ride WITH traffic not against. Alf and i see this duche bag all dressed up in the skin tight spandex outfits which one would think "hmmm they are real cyclists and know the rules" NOPE he was riding against traffic and yelled at US when we laid on the horn to inform him.
2. Not stopping at the stop signs. BECAUSE you are on a bike doesnt mean that you get to run stop signs. NOPE you must stop just like a car effer. So this little old lady was riding her bike and we get to a four way stop and we were there before she got there so we go but little old bitty looks like she was gonna blow through the stop sign. TRY AGAIN LADY. we went like we were gonna go and ofcourse she thought we were gonna hit her but we stopped and then went, a nice way to "teach" those old dogs a new trick.
Am icrazy? does it not irk anyone else that they have to swerve to give the bike rider more room when they ride on the white line? I mean come on!!! there is so much room between the white line and the grass! Must you push your luck for getting hit by riding so close to the cars? And those people who arent training for something important, dont ride wearing spandex! Just wear shorts and a tshirt!! And dont ride on busy roads! 250, 441, Holt, Lake. FIND A BACK ROAD!! there are plenty of not busy roads for you to "live out a fantasy", lay off the busy streets!!
1. Now bikers should know that they are considered vehicles therefore ADHERE TO THE VEHICLE RULES!!!!! One being ride WITH traffic not against. Alf and i see this duche bag all dressed up in the skin tight spandex outfits which one would think "hmmm they are real cyclists and know the rules" NOPE he was riding against traffic and yelled at US when we laid on the horn to inform him.
2. Not stopping at the stop signs. BECAUSE you are on a bike doesnt mean that you get to run stop signs. NOPE you must stop just like a car effer. So this little old lady was riding her bike and we get to a four way stop and we were there before she got there so we go but little old bitty looks like she was gonna blow through the stop sign. TRY AGAIN LADY. we went like we were gonna go and ofcourse she thought we were gonna hit her but we stopped and then went, a nice way to "teach" those old dogs a new trick.
Am icrazy? does it not irk anyone else that they have to swerve to give the bike rider more room when they ride on the white line? I mean come on!!! there is so much room between the white line and the grass! Must you push your luck for getting hit by riding so close to the cars? And those people who arent training for something important, dont ride wearing spandex! Just wear shorts and a tshirt!! And dont ride on busy roads! 250, 441, Holt, Lake. FIND A BACK ROAD!! there are plenty of not busy roads for you to "live out a fantasy", lay off the busy streets!!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
My Wena
Ok So i was listening to the tv radio stations and this song comes on called "My Wena" (yeah it sounds like weiner but with an A instead of -er) by Bowling for Soup.
The more i listened to the words of the song the more i realized "HOLY CRAP IS THIS ABOUT THE DUDES WEINER!!!???!" And i think it is. i will highlight areas of specific examples....
Her name is Wena.
Hey, have you seen-a?
Everyone says she's amazing.
She gets so jealous,
She sticks her head up
When I'm checkin' out the ladies. ummm yeah tell me thats not about a boner!
And she needs so much attention
She's always hangin' around. ----> yep thats a limp wang!
My Wena is lonely tonight.
(My Wena)
She cries when I turn out the light
(My Wena)
She's only happy when I'm holdin' her tight ----> come on really?!?
Oh, My Wena.
Take a look at my Wena.
My little Wena,
Queen of the scene
And all the girls wanna be around her
Her skin is so soft,
I can't keep my hands off --> ARGGG please no more descriptions!!
Ever since the day I found her.
And she'll make your heart beat faster
With the wink of an eye.
My Wena is lonely tonight.
(My Wena)
She cries when I turn out the light
(My Wena)
She's only happy when I'm holdin' her tight
Oh, My Wena.
Have you seen my Wena?
Get a load o' my…
Sometimes she can't sleep at night
And I wake up and she's just a-lookin' at me
And she snuggles up tight when it's cold outside
She likes to show off when we're walkin' the beach
And she's always up for goin' extra innings
She's a sucker for a happy ending. ---> Come on! REALLY?!
And we may not always agree,
But she's always here with me.
My Wena is lonely tonight.
She cries when I turn out the light
She's only happy when I'm holdin' her tight
My Wena.
(Take a look at my Wena).
My Wena is lonely tonight.
(My wonderful Wena)
She cries when I turn out the light
(She wants to get between ya)
She's only happy when I'm holdin' her tight
Oh, My Wena.
My wonderful Wena.
I hope someone else has heard this and can confirm my Wena suspicions. I mean what is coming next? My Gina?? (as in Va-gina, for you slow ones). Maybe i am just dirty minded and automatically took this song to "that place" and maybe it is really about a girl named Wena but hmmm im guessing that is doubtful and that this song is really about some dude's junk. nice. Soon all the kiddies will be singing about how lonely their Wena's are tonite. LOL
The more i listened to the words of the song the more i realized "HOLY CRAP IS THIS ABOUT THE DUDES WEINER!!!???!" And i think it is. i will highlight areas of specific examples....
Her name is Wena.
Hey, have you seen-a?
Everyone says she's amazing.
She gets so jealous,
She sticks her head up
When I'm checkin' out the ladies. ummm yeah tell me thats not about a boner!
And she needs so much attention
She's always hangin' around. ----> yep thats a limp wang!
My Wena is lonely tonight.
(My Wena)
She cries when I turn out the light
(My Wena)
She's only happy when I'm holdin' her tight ----> come on really?!?
Oh, My Wena.
Take a look at my Wena.
My little Wena,
Queen of the scene
And all the girls wanna be around her
Her skin is so soft,
I can't keep my hands off --> ARGGG please no more descriptions!!
Ever since the day I found her.
And she'll make your heart beat faster
With the wink of an eye.
My Wena is lonely tonight.
(My Wena)
She cries when I turn out the light
(My Wena)
She's only happy when I'm holdin' her tight
Oh, My Wena.
Have you seen my Wena?
Get a load o' my…
Sometimes she can't sleep at night
And I wake up and she's just a-lookin' at me
And she snuggles up tight when it's cold outside
She likes to show off when we're walkin' the beach
And she's always up for goin' extra innings
She's a sucker for a happy ending. ---> Come on! REALLY?!
And we may not always agree,
But she's always here with me.
My Wena is lonely tonight.
She cries when I turn out the light
She's only happy when I'm holdin' her tight
My Wena.
(Take a look at my Wena).
My Wena is lonely tonight.
(My wonderful Wena)
She cries when I turn out the light
(She wants to get between ya)
She's only happy when I'm holdin' her tight
Oh, My Wena.
My wonderful Wena.
I hope someone else has heard this and can confirm my Wena suspicions. I mean what is coming next? My Gina?? (as in Va-gina, for you slow ones). Maybe i am just dirty minded and automatically took this song to "that place" and maybe it is really about a girl named Wena but hmmm im guessing that is doubtful and that this song is really about some dude's junk. nice. Soon all the kiddies will be singing about how lonely their Wena's are tonite. LOL
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