I know, but its just easier this way...

Confession: Colton sleeps in our bed.

yes i know. I am breaking the rule listed in every Mommies 101 text book. But i dont care. Its works. I get sleep. And isnt that like the second most important thing these days?? the instant he wimpers because his pacifer fell out, all i have to do is roll over and pop it back in. I dont even have to open my eyes. Far cry from climbing out of bed, stumbling down the hall, searching in his crib and popping the paci back in then trying to slip back out the creaky door without really waking Colton up. Plus any parent who has had a stuffy baby knows that they choke occasionally on their mucus. And the sound of a choking baby from a room down the hall is the scariest sound on earth. Now i will admit that I don't sleep AS well with him in the bed, but i do sleep better than if he is in his crib. And while i don't get Alfie in bed with me (we trade off on who sleeps in the spare room and who gets C.) i get to wake up to a tiny grabby hand on my face and sometimes a drooly mouth slobbering on my nose but best yet is this adorable face right by my face, smiling and cooing. I love it!




My only wish is for a slighhhhtly larger bed so alfie could join too. I know, i know i know... "its gonna be hard to break him of this", "what about your marriage bed", "thats so weird" Yes, i get it, i know the cons of maintaining these sleeping arrangements BUT when he is fussy to fall asleep and you FINALLY get him down, and you have been laying in your bed so that you dont have to keep pacing his nursery and can actually take a few minutes off your feet, setting him down and laying beside him is a wonderful relief from the long day. PLUS when the alarm goes off at 5am (no joke it is set at 5am) and you need to get going and get ready, its easier to have him right there and try to keep him asleep so you dont have to feed or change him until you are done getting dressed, its worlds easier! As you can tell i am ALL about easy these days. Which is why today I look like a frumpy mother... Hair slicked back into my lazy pony tail because i chose to watch DWTS last night instead of blow drying my hair (the small joys) and then made my health conscious lunch (boo hiss) and did an EXTRA 15 minutes of zumba after my hour long class (yeah i know i had some crazy energy) so although i had a relaxing evening (C went with alf to his parents house, where he was super fussy...poor thing) i should have done my hair, but the luxery of a quiet night on the couch, is few and far between and you KNOW girl had to jump at that chance!! And im sure i will be cursing out this decision eventually (like when we attempt to put him back to his bed) but for now i will eat up the nights of snuggles and the slight scratches from his wolverine claws that hit my face in the middle of the night, and the way he eventually scoots my way until he is laying right beside me (i love it and melt every night). i will worry about putting him in his bed later. I can't promise that I wont complain about how hard that is, but go ahead, you can say "I TOLD YOU SO" when the time comes and rub it in.

It's a crazyyyy world out there....

Confession: Warm weather makes people crazy!!

So anyone who knows rochester weather, knows that the second it gets warm, is the second people break out their tank tops and shorts and hoochie-wear, even though the "warm weather" i speak of is low 50's, high 40's.Although what may not be as obvious is the unveiling of the crazies along with it. Yes, thats right, with the warm weather come the crazies. Well this weekend was one of those weekends where the odd and wacky were out and about. Saturday dawned with bright and sunny 50 degree weather and seemed like a perfect day to cruise the plaza and spend some of my hard earn bonus (boo ya). So alf and i wrangled up our gear and Colton and headed out for the 1 minute drive it takes from our house to the plaza. We got there and stopped first at Target for some 'Bucks coffee (for you not in "the know" that is Starbucks), then quickly trekked to Panera for some num nums. (i know, 40 in 40 beware at Panera, but i ordered a Power sandwich no cheese for a healthy breakfast...google it, only 300 and some odd calories, not too shabby). So we get into line, me then coltons stroller and alfie bringing up the rear.

SIDENOTE:
Now, you will notice, whenever alfie and i take colton anywhere, that alfie preferes to push the stroller. Why? Well what, may i ask, is cuter than a 5 month old smiley and flirty baby?? A 5month old smiley and flirty baby with his daddy! So to make him feel like he's still got it, I let him soak in all the "aww how cutes" and let him respond to the "what a happy baby" and "how old is this lil guy".

Okay, so we are in line and deciding to order, and i am staring up at the menu when i hear "Welll hello little guy, arent you just an adorble little thing", so I turn to smile and give the kind "thank you" when i see 2 very large, very saggy and very on display boobs, coming from the cougar who is mackin it to my husband and baby in the stroller. I smiled and said thanks, chuckling at the hot mess and thinking "ill let alfie handle this one" LOL. She then leans back down toward the stroller to again talk to colton and give him his first cougar booby sighting (poor kid). She mentions something about him being a boy and that she had 6 boys and like 4 girls, cause alfie and i later commented on how tiny she was for that many kids, but in hindsight, her tatas definitely fed 10 children and then kept trying to keep a conversation with Alfie as he awkwardly kept looking for a way out. Luckily he dodged a bullet cause we were next to order so the conversation was very short lived... unlike our NEXT crazy encounter at Chipotle.

Alf and I dropped colton off at the sitters after church on sunday (i hear you chuckling christy) while we went to Pittsford Plaza and grabbed a bite at Chipotle, which was a pleasant surprise since we didnt know there was one closer than henrietta. Anyways, we put in our order (tacos for Alf, and a salad for me) while listening to the cougar (again) in front of us. This cougar was a hybrid of sorts... young from the back but old from the front... she was wearing sweatpants with uggs, a tank top with a zip up and hat but had long wavy highlighted hair. But thats not the crazy part, so we are CLEARLY in line after her and she gets her very loud self through the line and finally to cashout and makes a comment to the cashier about a stack of faux newpapers (printed by chipotle with their news on it) by saying "wait, is this real???" the cashier says no, and she goes on to talk about how she was watching some reality show (she couldnt remember which) and the owner of Chip-olt-leee (we all know its pronounced with a "lay" at the end not "lee") was on it. She went on and on and on about Chipolt-lee and this show, meanwhile alfie and I am all the food preppers are watching her nonsense conversation and WE are waiting to cashout and eat. So crazy lady in her wanna -be- a- 15- yr- old ugg boots is taking her pretty little time and making a fool out of herself. Really!!! Some people just shouldnt be allowed in public during normal functioning hours. Finally, she leaves after a good 5 minute convo with us just staring at her, trying hard not to laugh. I felt like saying "is this real life" like in David after Dentist...ya know?! People are just bizarre!! And tell me...where are all these crazies FROM?!?!

NA NA Na BOO BOO...

Confession: I got my co-worker in trouble.

First off, yes this is part of the friday tri-fecta. I was in a writting mood. So humor me ok?!

Ok, lets start from the beginning. There is the lady, we shall call her Sandy. Sandy was brought in from lets say NYC to help as a cost analyst on a very similar program to mine. So there are now 3 analyst spread across 2 programs I am on Project A, she is on Project B and our 3rd analyst lets call him Boris, splits half time between. Well Sandy is a bit high strung and anal about how things are done (thats the NYC way) and everyone else is very very laid back. Our business managaer on the project, lets call him Bernie, had worked with Sandy in NYC on another program and knew she was a very hard worker, so requested her to come be part of the team up here (BIG mistake. i think daily he is regretting that mistake) but anyways so there have been quite a few personality conflicts with Sandy and the rest of the team and I had been flying safely under her nasty radar. Until "the event". So Bernie had asked me to figure out a way to better track the people charging the project and flag new chargers. It took me a few tries but I was able to work with my best buddy MS Excel and come up with a snazzy template to do this. (Bernie's cubicle is right next to Sandys) So after i showed Bernie, he said "Great, show Sandy, so she can implement it on this project" okay no biggie. So i turned to her cubicle, as Bernie got up and headed away from his desk, and said "Hey Sandy, i got more work for ya. haha" jokingly. With her head down and furioously typing over the keyboard she does not acknowledge my presence, nor does she tell me she was busy and to come back. Instead she lifts her hand and puts it up like a "stop" and then does it again. Obviously i knew that meant to leave her alone, and i pissedly (not a word) said "uhhh ok" and walked away.I sat at my desk thinking of all the things i should have said and if smacking a biotch would get me fired. I didnt mention anything to anyone that day and i sat fuming for a good hour at my desk. Then finally the following week at our team lunch, which Sandy thankfully did not attend. I brought up what she did and Bernie was appauled. I thought it ended there. NOPE. That friday, someone else mentioned that Bernie had said something to them about it. And they were pissed that Sandy would treat me this way. Well Bernie came up to me and said that my supervisor is aware of what she did and then someone (either Bernie or her supervisor) mentioned it to her. And low and behold, Sandy just swooped on by to apologize. I graciously thanked her for apologizing and then changed the subject, cause i had been over it an hour (ok a week) after it happened. It was not my intention to get her introuble with her supervisor, but at the same time, who treats someone so rudely? Atleast have the common curtisy to turn to me and say "im sorry i am swamped right now, can you show me later?" I get being busy! But i do not get how people can be that rude. Sadly for her thats one more strike against her in the eyes of the entire team... especially when you mess with this lil Lamb (me).

I wanna be UNMADE...

Confession: I no longer wanna be MADE...

Lol yeah i know, im lame when it comes to the running thing, but i just do.not.enjoy.running. AT ALL. Which is weird cause i was doing GREAT with my running for the lone week I actually did it. But then i got sick and BAM had to take a week off and never really go back on the horse. (If i am honest, i didnt care that much) but since then, 2 people have nailed down wedding day timings (summer and fall of this year) and both weddings include me! YIKES motivation! I am determined. DE-TER-MINED to lose this weight. And i have been doing very well sticking to my plan thanks to my new phone (yep i got one and YEP it has a list APP too!! yay) which has a calorie and fitness tracker in it. You can even scan the barcode on packaged items and it reads it! so cool.

TIME LAPSE

so i had a donut. If anyone cares it was covered in chocolate frosting and sprinkles and had 240 calories. 240 CALORIES!! But it did taste good, a little too good. And now i feel guilty. I have come to terms that i have a hearty mans appetite. Women always crave sweets, and for 9 months i ate like a picky woman, but now i am back to my lumberjack-cowboy-biker-man stomach. Id prefer a burger and loaded fries to a cupcake and dessert. I crave garbage plates over chocolate and ribs over ice cream. I can easily out eat Alfie and will pretty much try (and enjoy) any food with the exception of brussel sprouts... gag me! Is it weird i planned my meal for DW's Bday tonite already? I even allotted for 2 beers. Is that obsessive? Im ok if it is. because for then few months i plan to BE obsessive.I plan to be VERY obssessive. And if you see me eating something that will add pounds shout 40 in 40 right in my face or snag the food out of my hand and throw it away (okay dramatic, you could just kindly remind me).

90% of the Birthing Story....

Confession: "Labor is not that bad”... but the epidural was a BIOTCH.

Yeah i can hear all you mamas who have gone through it cursing me out right now! But careful, because the catch is that my pregnancy was hell, so if yours wasnt then shut yo mouth :) Ok, onto the confession (shout out to christy, my only reader, for the confession idea). I wont go through the entire story, A. its too long and B. its too much work...lol BUT i will explain my confession. When my water "broke" (it really tore, and they had to later on fully break it) my contractions started within a half hour and steadily increased in frequency and duration and intensity until colty was born.

SIDEBAR:
I am lactose intolerant. Yeah i know, bear with me this DOES have a lot to do with the confession. I am lactose intolerant. And for years, anytime i would have milk, i would get this intense stabbing pain and then the "gurggles" that would "roll across the plains" (ie. start from one side of my stomach and go all the way across to the other side) and this would last (TMI coming) until it all "left my body"...if you know what i mean. So imagine years of summers, PMS weeks, parties, etc. of enjoying ice cream and then pretty much having these pains and crampings the rest of the night.Ok back to the labor story.

So these contractions started and they felt like PMS cramps. Okay not bad, i can handle it. 1cm....2cm...3cm okay when will these contractions get bad? 4cm...5cm..6cm...ok now they feel like my lactose cramps, still not "painful", i mean they were (don't kill me) annoying, but not really painful yet. At about 7cm, they were starting to get uncomfortable and so I hopped (okay waddled and cautiously climbed) into the jacuzzi tub, and that definitely held me over for about an hour or so, at which point the contractions were getting painful and I knew i wanted an epidural for pushing, which was coming soon. So i headed back to the room and when they checked me I was 8cm. The nurses all were saying i was doing great, wow 8cm and no pain meds, no epidural. I remember Christy calling, early on, and her not believing when i said they were not bad but that they felt like i had ice cream.So we then got the ball moving on getting an epidural. In hindsight, i question whether i would do it again and here is why....

So the anesthesialogist comes in, totally looking like Duff from Ace of Cakes, and all happy and chatty. Okay, good sign, right? hmm no. He clears everyone out of the room but one person (i had to choose between Alfie or Mom, and I chose alfie, although i think he probably wishes I had chosen mom). Duff preps his needles (which i thankfully did not see) and tells me to sit on the edge of the bed and hug my pillow to round my back, and HOLD VERY STILL. I asked them to hold a second as i was having a contraction and then once it finished he said he was going to inject the numbing stuff (lets call it novacaine). I grabbed alfies hand and held on. Anyone who has had a cavity knows when they inject novicaine they do it in 3 depth levels. They inject, then go a bit deeper then the final depth to make sure you are all numbed up. Such is the same with this novacaine. So he sticks me right in the back and youchie it hurts. They he says ok, i am going in with the epidural, you shouldnt feel anything but let me know if you do. HOT DANG YES MOTHER EFFER I FEEL IT. i didnt say that i more said "OUCHHHHHHHHH, I CAN FEEL IT ON MY LEFT SIDE" if felt like someone had literally stabbed my nerve in my back (slight wimpering by now). Ok, so then Duff goes in with more novacaine (mind you i have now been poked 3 times), and again with the epidural(poke #4), OWWWWWWWW I CAN FEEL IT (enter sobbing tears, mom swears she heard me call for her and I feel like i actually did call for her...they could hear me all the way in the hall), and he goes back again with the novacaine (poke #5, by now i am sobbing, while trying not to move) and then he goes in (poke#6 with the epidural) no pain. He finished me up as im sitting there crying and alfie is looking like a deer in headlights. My legs went numb shortly after and i mean NUMB. some people who have the epidurals can still slightly feel and move. NOPE. not me. Remember, how i could feel the epidural poke on my left side, well my left leg was dead weight because they had to keep trying.Which resulted in me not being able to feel my contractions enough to push at 10cms or even to feel the urge to push. (this eventually led to my need for a csection)

After that things moved fairly quickly. I was able to fall asleep for an hour or so, as I kept progressing to 10cm. When i got there and couldnt feel my contractions, they had me wait in hopes that i would feel something enough to push (no such luck) during that waiting period my body created a "lip" which essentially made me more like 9cm instead of 10. They had me try pushing in hopes that the "lip" would revert and go back to 10cm. No such luck. That was when they noticed Colton getting tired. They waited about 30 minutes more and said a C section is my next option. Ok.Lets do it. From there things moved at lightning speed. They wheeled my bed out of the room and into the hall towards the surgical area. had me take some meds and throw on a hairnet. Transfered me to the surgical bed and upped my epidural ( i was very fearful they would have to takeout my epidural and do a spinal, but thankfully no!!) They strap my arms to the bed out away from my body. I remember being so freaking cold. Like freezing. My teeth were chattering and my body felt like it was shaking from being so cold. They brought Alfie in and said i might feel some pressure when they began the procedure. I was terrified i would feel them cutting, but i didnt. Next thing i know i hear crying. and see them taking colton from behind the sheet onto the warming bed to clean him up. i did shed a slight tear and loved the sound of his petite crying. You dont realize how worried you are that he wont come out crying until you realize how relieved you are that you hear it. They cleaned him up and alfie snapped some pictures and they finally brought him over to lay on my chest. Then they wheeled us to recovery and blah blah blah blah... you know the rest.

It only took 5 months to write...lol

Happy friday :)

Yep, i know, it looks good...

Confession: I am having a VERY good hair day!!

Usually with the schedule i have been keeping these days, the ability (and desire) to keep up with my hair has slipped and although i dont look like a Snaggle-puss (new word, i kinda like it!, go ahead and use it...) I do not always look like the well put together mamma I would like to. But last night i remedied that and actually blew dried my hair and this morning after Coltys 4am bottle, when he went back to sleep, i resisted the urge to snuggle in and fall back to sleep and instead plugged in the flat iron, grabbed some clips and when to town. And the result was a SUCCESS. Many compliments today from coworkers (made me kinda wonder if i generally look aweful? lol) but thats ok, i will gladly take the compliment and store it away for a rainy, frizzy, didn't- get- to -shower- so -my -curly- hair- is- in- a -ponytail kind of day. I know you are all wondering what its like, well its the usual flat ironed do with a bit of volume on top and i deepend my side part for a more dramatic look.... WINNING (to quote good old Charlie Sheen).

So, tomorrow is a good friend D.W's (we shall call him for anonymity purposes) birthday. A large group of us are going to the distillery and Mamasita is gonna watch Colty. So since it feels like i haven't been out in FOREVER, i need a GREAT outfit to wear out. I have settled on a white V neck ruffle shirt from NY&Co, jeans, my red DIY necklace and my red heels that i never get to wear, because come on... with a baby i can't quite wear 3 inch heels AND carry a 15lb baby and carseat. Nope, not happening! (still debating on wearing black instead, since its slimming, but the white shirt is really cute! I will let alfie make the final call) Slightly bummed that my 40 in 40 plan is going to limit my eating (and drinking, for that matter) BUT if i can make i through the weekend (this one especially, lots of gatherings where piggingout it the thing to do) then i can easily make it through the next 40 weeks...right? (humor me, ok?!) So all in all todays' great hair day BETTER extend into another good hair day tomorrow (when it counts) cause whats a good outfit if wasted on crappy looking hair, right? Oh well cheers to friday and cheers to a night out with "the crew"...

Put it on the list!!

Confession: I have a slighhht obsession with lists.

Ok by slight i mean CRAZY obsession. Making lists are my zen outlets. My scambled brain comes into focus and i instantly feel less overwhelmed, less cluttered and less frantic. It makes me feel like i have a plan... a path forward to get things accomplished. The down side to this is that my purse becomes OVERSIZED due to the random MS Excel (love it) lists or notebook full of grocery lists, daily menu ideas, weekly chore lists. Its full of the DIY lists, full of gift ideas or party planning help, or outfit ideas. Its like a bag full of paper! At this very moment i have 12...yes twelve "lists" in my notebook crammed into my purse. I know i get this little obsession with list from my mom. She is the queen of lists. Everything gets written down and then checked off the list when done. Its her key to her insane organization (and MAN is she one organized cookie!!) I enjoy the feeling of crossing off an item on the list. It feels like i have accomplished something. Like i am one step closer to the end goal.

Every day i make atleast one sort of list for myself and another separate list for work. Its kind of OCD, i guess. But it works. I am generally on task and hardly late on deadlines! I am a superb packer and rarely forget items or plans. Its quite the handy (although a bit messy) tidbit about me! My hope, is that as it is time to upgrade my phone, that this is where a smart phone would come in handy. I have dreams that there is a "list"app, that will maintain my lists upon lists and i can be done with the pages and pages i toss into my purse or fold and lay by my dresser or desk. I am hopeful that i can sync my calendar to alfies calendar and with the touch of a button plan and make lists to my hearts content! Is that sad, that that is my prerequesit for a phone??? Yes i know, but i am a simple gal (when it is NOT referring to clothes, jewelry or shoes).

Well now i can cross "write todays blog" off my list!!