Wednesday, December 18, 2013

“You think you know, but you have no idea.”

Confession:  You never really know what’s going on inside someone else’s world.

It’s funny how something so obvious is often forgotten. You see people living the dream. 3 kids, fantastic house, great marriage, perfect job, impeccable style etc. and it’s easy to think that life for them is amazing. And while I’m sure each could go on again and again with the abundance of true blessings, each person has their struggles. (I know, its sounding like I’m gonna do a FB rant, but bear with me…) I attend craft night, with some very lovely ladies and most often we keep it light and chatty, but since we have been seeing each other every month for almost 2 years, it lends itself for some deeper discussions. And with those deeper discussions come amazement at the strength of these women. It’s one thing to deal with an ordeal, trauma, health struggles,  publicly but it’s another to deal with it personally. To have your mountain be so big that you keep it close and it resides within just a few trusted hearts. It’s those struggles that people usually don’t talk about and those struggles that make me want to be cheerleaders for these women. They are mommas, wives, professionals. They have laughter and smiles and kind words to give and share and then you find out just how big their mountains are and how they have tackled or are tackling it with such grace and composure is amazing! But sometimes within that silence, within that solitude of your mountain are mommas who ache to be heard. They ache to be understood and they are looking for the camaraderie of those going through the same thing.
So to the momma’s who….

don’t get a nap during the day after their kid was up all night…

don’t get to snuggle their babies during weekday cartoons

drop off their babies to day care

have to hear “Mommy don’t go to work” and know there’s no choice about that

don’t have a job and wonder how to put food on the table

have a house or apartment that feels too small, or old or not what they’d dreamed

have family that lives far away and they don’t get to see often

have love handles, stretch marks and a few extra pounds they can’t shed

have slept on pee stained sheets because they forgot their kids peed on them or were just too tired to care

forgo makeup or doing their hair or working out or much needed “me time” for that of their family

have aches and pains and are bed ridden or home bound or not the picture of health they once were

desperately want a child, to grow their family or begin their family

are going at life alone, without a spouse to love and support them

have loved ones with whom they aren’t speaking to

is picking up toy after toy and clothes after clothes and the house is still a wreck

is just struggling to hang in there…

to those moms, I hear you. I so very much hear you! From a mom who has more than one item on that list, I hear you. I feel you. You are not alone. Take a deep breath… you can do it. A quote that always gets me is “No mom ever said, id wished id hugged my child less” Same could be said for “No mom ever said, I wished id spent less time with my kids” But I can promise we will wish we had forgoes that homemade meal that had us pulling out our hair in turn for an hour of snuggle time or play time with our kids. A house that’s a mess  because you chose that time to accept the invitation to play from your baby that will only want to play with you for a few more years. It’s thoughts like that that help me get through it. That and knowing I’m not alone, I’m not perfect and that’s okay.  Thoughts that remind me to remind MY friends that you are doing amazing, you will reap the fruits of your labors as a mom, wife and friend, and that in the end it is so worth it. So.Very.Worth it.